judd cledus t - 270 somethin' lyrics
wooo
you know a man does have to eat him somethin’
i love candy bars…eat ’em all the time
my combo meal’s are super-sized
and i crave the stuff they put inside those dang ding dongs
mmmm
my cholesterol is off the chart
i keep a blood pressure cuff on my left arm
doctor says that my poor heart won’t last too long
my nickname in school was “double wide”
cause my momma fried…
now i weigh 270 somethin’
always huffin’ and puffin’
lay around the house all day
no wonder i can’t lose no weight
see that pizza on the tv
oh man, don’t it look cheesy
you know they deliver here for nothin’
that’s why i weigh 270 somethin’
my insurance said that they’d co-pay
i made the same appointment carnie wilson made
plastic surgeon said he had a way to get those love handles off
he stapled and sucked stuff through a tube
i lost a hundred pounds in one afternoon
when i came to in the recovery room
wasn’t much left of me
when he removed the bandages from my thighs
i couldn’t believe my eyes
now i weigh 180 somethin’
didn’t have to do much of nothin’
i’m lookin’ like jean claude van damme
to fit in a pair mark wills’ pants
now everyone who sees me
can’t believe that i’m so skinny
my body fat is nearly nothin’
ha ha
now that i weigh 180 somethin’
wooo
ha ha
now i date a model with a ged
but do you think she’d be with me
i wonder (i wonder)
if i (if i)
still weighed 270 somethin’
stuffin’ down blueberry m-ffins
onion rings and cans of spam
that’s how i got so fat
now everyone who sees me
can’t believe that i’m so skinny
i used to break a sweat just doin’ nothin’
back when i weighed 270 somethin’
now i weigh 180 somethin’
ah…well it’s probably like more like around 225-26
none of y’all’s business what i weigh
huh huh…
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