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judge dread - bedtime stories lyrics

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i was kneeling by the bed and praying
she said, “come love and get undressed”
i sad i’m praying for guidance
she said, “pray for stripping, i’ll do the rest”

so i told her a bedtime story
about the first time i got laid:
as i ran down the stairs, she cried after me:
“you bleeder, you ain’t paid!”

as a young man i couldn’t get many girls
because of the size of my wood
i had to keep my shirt on
and give them as much as i could!

so i told her a bedtime story
of my non-religious rod
and how i was an unbeliever
she said, “you don’t believe in . . . ohh god!

so i’ll tell you a bedtime story
one night i was asleep
and the girl said, “get up quickly,
i can hear the stairs creek”
she said “get out, it’s my husband
and i was half way out the door
when i realised it couldn’t be
i was married, to her, before

- judge dread lyrics

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