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judge smith - the selfish shellfish lyrics

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i chose to lead the quieter sort of artist’s life
no kids, no wife
they weren’t part of my plan
and sometimes i have conversations with the dead
i’m off my head
a quite peculiar man

and if you say i should proceed a good deal more like other chaps
i’d say ‘perhaps
but that’s the way i am’
and if you say this clearly shows a certain lack of moral health
i’d say ‘go f+ck yourself!
i’m happy as a clam

i may be a selfish sh+llfish
just a crusty old crustacean
with ideas above his station
yes i may be a selfish sh+llfish
but here within my cloister
the whole cosmos is my oyster

and as the fish swim past, i hear one cry
‘that’s the prawn that makes those records
that no one wants to buy’

i seem to have a certain knack for melodies
with harmonies
that linger in the mind
but a critic pointed out that all my songs appeared
to be quite weird
and he was being kind

and if you say i should have used this gift to make a bob or two
i’d say ‘that’s true
i’ve probably been a fool’
and if you say my work has failed and thus my life has been misspent
i’d say ‘get bent!’
i’m stubborn as a moule

i may be a selfish sh+llfish
a sort of crabby hermit
who makes art without a permit
yes, i may be a selfish sh+llfish
but let the flashy abalones
win applause by being phoneys
i will stay under my rock and do my art
to be such a lucky winkle warms the c+ckles of my heart

i may be a selfish sh+llfish
like a scallop or an ormer
but perhaps more like the former
yes, i may be a selfish sh+llfish
of the order gastropoda
with a charming, fishy odour
yes, i may be a selfish sh+llfish
but you can have to much of me
i can bring on an allergy
and so i’ll really have to try
to say ‘goodbye, good bivalve, goodbye’

- judge smith lyrics

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