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judicator - my fantasy destroyed lyrics

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i walk alone at night, hoping that i’ll find
epiphany or more, a greater understanding

always knew that i’d be alone
never thought that i’d find a home
home, a different meaning
who is solitary
always knew that i’d die alone
never thought that i’d find someone
someone to be by my side
to help me find the fleeting light

full moon shine–i’m swimming in my deepest fears
blackest skies–a highway jam that’s in my head
nevermind–something is here
crashing waves–i’m treading in the blackened waves
flowing blood–relentless routing in my head
pounding fear–time to reveal

feeling now that my brother’s tale
doesn’t have a happy end
end to a broken line
this wretched soul, observer
always knew i was special, i
i’m taken back by
by the surreal feelings here
almost like a dreamworld here

glowing moon–it’s almost like a lucid dream
lurking doom–or is it just a catalyst?
nevermind–time to go back
gentle wind–i look up to his room alight
so exposed–i’m standing naked in the rain
now return–to numbing death

cancer leaves families exposed
rips, cracks into canyon walls
step by step up to his room
lying there, mother beside

solo: tony

fantasy is torn apart
reality is f-cking stark
stark in the face of tears
eyes that show our fears
mom caresses withered hands
hold on tight and pray loud
loud is the comfort of men
yet they’re silent in their pride

indoor breeze–this surely cannot happen now
earned your keys–into another bleaker world
blood and bone–you won’t escape
only smoke–emergency to save his life
without fire–no longer am i here alone
earned your keys–time to grow up



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