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juice rap news - rn03: climate change: lord monckton rap-battles al gore lyrics

[glenn beck]
“listen and remember:
what we’re talking about is propaganda
we’re not talking about the truth
we’re talking about propaganda
watch this.”

[robert foster]
good evening to you
welcome to the news feed
of rap news transmitting through on juice media
as you should be aware
the un and its members
hold a meeting in copenhagen
7th december
a new committee, which, a few have written
is the most important diplomatic gathering
in human history
the first was earth summit in ninety two
seventeen years on, climate change
still divides views
¿is the crisis true?
¿is it definitely our fault?
former vice president al gore

[al gore]
howdy

[robert foster]
mr. gore, there’s a sceptic core vocally expressing
the contention that your text is flawed

[al gore]
oh, listen y’all
we can no longer sit on the wall
our rollercoaster is headed for a fall
the mission is still
to reduce the emissions that k!ll
¿but do we have the political will?
we see on this still
no need to be clever
to see that co2 and world heat go together
it goes way off the tip
i need a crane to see the top
and if we don’t stop a bit
we’re headed straight for apocalypse
it’s obvious

[robert foster]
ok, it’s time to debate perspectives
this is lord monckton, the climate change sceptic
lord monckton

[lord monckton]
¿how do you do?

[robert foster]
climate change
¿what are your views?

[lord monckton]
¿my views?
well, i can explain
my views can be summed up in a word:
anthropogenic?
utterly dumb and absurd
it’s a plot to tax hard working lords
like me and you
ego lingua latina non teneo
sed magister meus crebo me paedicavit
we must fight it
it’s our rights they’re trying to target
bl–dy pinko green martyrs
they have all been hypnotised
by that con artist, al gore
his video’s fake, beelzebub’s seed
i said schools should ban it
and a british judge agreed
stop televising him!, the temperature is not rising
i’m not lying and unlike gore
i’m not proselytising

[al gore]
well, i’m not “prosel-whatchamatising”
i’m providing the inconvenient truth
on dvd for $25.99
and if we keep piling co2
at a maximum rate
disaster awaits
we need cap and trade

[lord monckton]
¿cap and trade?
that’s just a masquerade
a large charade
a smokescreen for the master race
you can’t escape!
the people are rising
they’ll stop copenhagen
and the treaty they’re signing!

[al gore]
¿treaty? ¿what treaty?

[lord monckton]
the one that blends all obama’s friends
into a one world government
if he signs, freedom dies
and no more cheap flights…

[al gore]
but he’ll be in norway
getting his ‘war is peace prize’

[robert foster]
¿can we see the treaty you mention?

[lord monckton]
oh yeah, it’s right here
hey! what’s that over there? …
you don’t need to see it
i remember the words:
they want to tax our wealth
for the developing world

[robert foster]
¿and you don’t feel obliged to provide some -ssistance
when we still generate
90% of emissions?
we’re not in debt for emissions
we made the empire
the natives should pay us
for elevating them higher
the queen kept the money
the poor get the boot
now they’re running little schemes
trying to play us for our loot
speaking of proof
¿have you seen inconvenient truth?
i found 35 fallacies
that need to be removed

[al gore]
¿35?
maybe that’s why the academy liked it
look, it ain’t perfect
but it’s backed by science

[lord monckton]
¿backed by science?
trying to attract high finance
keep average guys blind
and taxed by tyrants

[al gore]
sure, viscount!
you care for average guy’s crisis!
weeping in your castle
as the black tide rises

[lord monckton]
and prices:
the ipcc are marxist
trapeze artists
bleeding the free market
we’re the target!
they’ll keep us herded in corners;
one currency
one government
a new world order

[al gore]
better than the coroner
let this fact just sink in
world unite
or face the sixth m-ss extinction
a feedback cycle
the death of the gulf stream
we need “clean coal”
or it’s the end of the holocene

[lord monckton]
that’s just postulated
we’ve got to collate it
secretly these people want
the earth depopulated
a communist dictatorship
a way station
good christians
k!lled by un troops
and aids patients

[al gore]
you strain my patience
you scaremongering!

[lord monckton]
it’s freedom they’re plundering
and you’re the scare monger king!
i got my n0bel prize
i was nearly the president

[lord monckton]
i share that prize
for revealing this evidence

[al gore]
you got a pin melted down from a physics experiment

[lord monckton]
you`re a pin melted down
from a physics experiment

[robert foster]
lord monckton!
let me hear from you
¿have any of your articles
have been peer reviewed?

[lord monckton]
well, no
but the sppi has published a few

[robert foster]
the science and public policy inst-tute
their chief policy advisor
¿happens to be who?

[lord monckton]
well, me…

[robert foster]
¿you? ¿so you publish you?
i think we’ve heard enough from you
people, please, research the truth
nowadays it isn’t tough to do
mr. gore

[al gore]
robert, we need global governance
a new world order to replace
local governments

[robert foster]
and i suppose ¿who better to comprise it?
than the very same people
who altered the climate

[al gore]
sure, ¿who else?

[robert foster]
¿perhaps the same ones who took care
of the planet until we came along?

[al gore]
ok, pocahontas!
¿what kinkiness you into?
¿want us wearing loincloths
and living in igloos?
people need to just carry on:
we have schemes to offset emissions
by planting trees

[robert foster]
¿money for new trees?
¿why not use it to -ssist local tribes?
to preserve forests that still exist?

[al gore]
¿would that make me more rich?
no, tax is the way
and if that just fails i’ll become
captain trade!

[robert foster]
that’s about it for this episode
but i’d like to end the show with some thoughts
before i let you go
some commentators are now on their feet saying:
climate change is a plot by the power elite
it’s tempting to cry victim when
the system curbs behaviour
¿but are we the victims or
are we the perpetrators?
our wealth was extorted from
the turf of our neighbours
never mind genocide and murder of nature
¿can we return what we’ve taken
in a dignified praxis?
¿or keep complaining
about paying high taxes?
and as for the pilgrims to ‘hopenhagen’
hoping that token statements
and hope can save them
¿can reparations and carbon trading
hold at bay the payment for two centuries
of global raping?
if arctic ice will be mist within six years
¿can we let these leaders just
sit shifting deckchairs?
and as we get scared
t–tering on the tipping point
¿at what stage will we consult
that missing voice?
in april an indigenous summit
met in anchorage
pledging knowledge to enable us to handle this
we have technology
but lack philosophy
¿how’s sixty thousand years track record in ecology?
to give cop fifteen
any kind of relevance
¿shouldn’t we invite the world’s
true environmentalists?
well, whatever’s decided
when copenhagen arrives
i’m robert foster for juice media saying
good night

[glenn beck]
“h-ll, there’s a lot to do…
remember the good old days
when we could sit back and watch tv
and it really didn’t matter?
not anymore.”

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