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julie andrews & martyn green - songs of fun and nonsense lyrics

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julie: if all the world were paper and all the sea were ink, if all the trees were bread and cheese what would we have to drink?

martyn: that’s nonsense
julie: what is nonsense?
martyn: exactly what the word says non sense
something that doesn’t make sense. if you speak nonsense on purpose that can be very funny but some people speak nonsense without knowing it and that’s very sad
juliе: sing me a funny nonsense song plеase martyn

martyn: as tomas snooks and bessy brooks were walking out one sunday said tomas snooks to bessy brooks tomorrow will be monday

julie: is this a nonsense song?

two cats sat on a garden wall for a hour or so together at first they talked about nothing at all and then they talked of the weather

martyn: that’s the idea. it pretends to be very serious so it sounds all very funny. have you heard the story of mary morry?

julie: now you start one and i’ll finish it

martyn: there was an old man and he had a the cough and that’s half

julie: he took him out of the store and tied him to the wall and that’s all

martyn: we all know some nonsense songs that we use just to keep time for jumping rope or bouncing ball. here are some that you may not have heard yet

there was an old woman lived under the hill and if she’s not gone she lives there still

julie: daffodil dilly has come up to town in a yellow petti coat and a green gown

julie & martyn: here am i little jumping john, when n0body’s with me i’m all alone
here am i little jumping john, when n0body’s with me i’m all alone

martyn: do you think you can keep time with this:

one

two

three

go

betty botter bought some b+tter but she said the b+tters bitter if i put it in my batter it will make my batter bitter but her bitter better b+tter that will make my batter better so she bought a bit of b+tter better then her bitter b+tter and she put it in her batter and the b+tter was not bitter so it was better betty botter bought a bit of better b+tter

julie: oh martyn i’m quite out of breath couldn’t we play a quiet sit down game for a while
martyn: i know just the thing but first you must promise to do exactly as i say

julie: alright

martyn: now, i am a lock and you are the key. when i say what kind of lock i am you must say you are the same kind of key, if you want the funny ending you must do as i say. shall we start?

julie: yes
martyn: i am a gold lock
julie: i am a gold key
martyn: i am a silver lock
julie: i am a silver key
martyn: i am a brass lock
julie: i am a brass key
martyn: i am lead lock
julie: i am a lead key
martyn: i am a monk lock
julie: i am a monk key

oh, hehehe
i knew you’d trick me but i can’t help laughing, do you know any others?

martyn: i have a whole book of riddles and puzzles i like to read them on rainy days but now i would rather play a moving around game, would you like to march around like soldiers with me? ill start out and you fall into step

martyn: brave news has come to town brave news is carried brave news has come to town, jimmy dawsons married
julie: first he got a porridge pot then he bought a ladle then he got a wife and child and then he bought a cradle

martyn: brave news has come to town brave news is carried brave news has come to town, jimmy dawsons married

julie: oh, hahaha, it’s such fun playing with you, but the time seems to go so quickly, i wish it were longer
do i sound like the three men of gotham?

julie & martyn: went to see in a bowl. if the bowl had been stronger, my song would have been longer
three wise men of gotham went to see in a bowl. if the bowl had been stronger, my song would have been longer

- julie andrews martyn green lyrics

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