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julie harris - letter to t w higginson, 25 april 1862 lyrics

mr higginson

your kindness claimed earlier gratitude+but i was ill+and write today, from my pillow

thank you for the surgery+ it was not so painful as i supposed. i bring you others+as you ask+though they might not differ+

while my thought is undressed+i can make the distinction, but when i put them in the gown + they look alike, and numb

you asked how old i was? i made no verse+but one or two+until this winter + sir+

i had a terror+since september+i could tell to none+and so i sing, as the boy does by the burying ground+because i am afraid+ you inquire my books+for poets+i have keats+and mr and mrs browning. for prose + mr ruskin + sir thomas browne + and the revelations. i went to school+but in your manner of the phrase+had no education. when a little girl, i had a friend, who taught me im+ mortality+but venturing too near, himself+he never returned+soon after, my tutor, died + and for several years, my lexicon + was my only companion+then i found one more+but he was not contented i be his scholar+so he left the land

you ask of my companions hills+ sir+and the sundown+and a dog+large as myself, that my father bought me+they are better than beings+because they know+but do not tell+and the noise in the pool, at noon + excels my piano. i have a brother and sister + my mother does not care for thought+and father, too busy with his briefs + to notice what we do + he buys me many books + but begs me not to rcad thcm+because he fears they joggle the mind. they are religious+except me+and address an eclipse, every morning+whom they call their “father.” but i fear my story fatigues you+i would like to learn+could you tell me how to grow+or is it unconveyed+ like melody+or witchcraft?

you speak of mr whitman+i never read his book+but was told that he was disgraceful+

i read miss prcscott’s “circumstance,” but it followed me, in the dark+so i avoided her+

two editors of journals came to my father’s house, this winter+ and asked me for my mind+and when i asked them “why,” they said i was penurious + and they, would use it for the world +

i could not weigh myself+myself+

my size felt small+ to me+ i read your chapters in the atlantic+ and experienced honor for you+i was sure you would not reject a confiding question+

is this+ sir+what you asked me to tell you?
your friend
e + d+ckinson

- julie harris lyrics

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