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just fern - my familiar lyrics

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when my baby went to work today i pretended that she left me for good
i don’t even know why i did it

i just wanted to feel that loss
to know if i could take it
‘cause no matter how good it’s going i know that inevitably
invariably
and ineffably
i will f-ck this up

i jilled off, took my girl pills and just sat in the car watching the birds
they’re coming or they’re going, i don’t know
i never kept good track of time

i just sat there and daydreamed for a while, wishing that was me, flying somewhere
with a purpose
no, an instinct
not something pure but just
something i could understand

i’d be drummin’ on the trees
buzzing’ with the bees
eatin’ sap
not the cr-p that i’ve come to need

i would never speak a word
sing & then be heard
not a tweet
just a beak
just another bird—my familiar

i drove to our diner and sat at our booth and it felt empty without her
the waitress comes over and she asks “oh where’s your little girlfriend i always love seeing you two”
i feel dirty—damaged—no i feel naughty
eating a f-cking cheeseburger at 9 am all alone
is this what it’ll feel like when things finally go south for us?

a plane p-sses overhead & it startles the birds
i watch them fly away
i just watch them fly away

my baby comes home and i tell her oh god i missed you and she says “i missed you too bug”
she asks if i’m okay
i tell her maybe it’s the weather, maybe it’s these hormones but
i’m not quite feeling like myself

- just fern lyrics

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