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justin terrell - prolegomenon lyrics

[intro]
i brought you something close to me
and left with something new
see through your head
you haunt my dreams
nothing to do but believe
just believe

and i will

[verse 1]
tears in my eyes
so i know this will be real
thinking back on times when my mom would fix a meal
she would call me to the table jt wash ya hands
stopped whatever i was doing woulda thought it was a trance
went to the bathroom so bright it would seem
living the life
it felt like a dream
dry my hands and head down to the kitchen
i would always catch my parents at the end of their kissing
then we sat down and ate
talked about our day
finished with my plate
then i’d go outside and play
those were the days

[verse 2]
witnessing something that i thought i’d see forever
but a lifes a b
and i c that she is clever
d emotions that she caused had me screaming f her
so i had to keep it g
years p-ssed then we had to split
off to savannah and j-pan is where my dad went
he said jt you are the man of the house now
and till i get back you gotta hold it down gave me the crown
he said take care of your mom and then i said i will
i was only 7
this was getting real
but he said that he would be back
and i knew that in the end
that we would be a happy family once again
but things happen
things change
ignorance is bliss
i never heard a realer phrase
in a year or two life would strike me in my face
still young
only in 5th grade
i was in the kitchen on the computer watching cow and chicken
then my mom called me to the living room and told me to listen
walking in i saw she seemed a little weaker
handing me the the phone
putting it on speaker
it was my dad saying jt you know that we love you right
at that moment i saw tears forming in my mothers eyes

[verse 3]
my dad beat around the bush
his voice a litte ho-rs-
my mom cut him off
and said we’re getting a divorce
i froze
and said really
next thing i know
i had this unknown feeling
clenching at my heart
ripping it apart
i had so many plans
now its a new start
was it me?
did i do it?
i know my grades are not the best
i promise i’ll improvem’
how can i fix it?
just give me a clue!
is it cuz i didn’t listen
ok i’ll clean my room
then reality came from all around the curb
turns out i’ve been silent and i haven’t said a word
my dad was on the phone
so i tried be strong
didn’t let my feelings out til’ i knew i was alone
teachers asked what is wrong you haven’t talked in a while
i said that i was fine
then i’d try to force a smile
kids would talk about their parents having all this fun
i would talk about my dad
then i would talk about my mom
my stories were seperate
theirs sounded like perfection
i was never neglected
but still felt so unaccepted
dang

[outro]
this is the realest i’ve ever ever wrote
hands down
and if that is a lie then let me p-ss now
im not just spittin’ lyrics
these are not just songs
these are verses showing you that you are not alone
i’d like to welcome you all
to life in the spotlight: the casting call
this is just the beginning
i just pray that i get casted;

- justin terrell lyrics

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