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kaho matsui - where do i go after i leave? lyrics

i always feel like i need someone to latch on to
whether thats a friend or a family member or coworker or a therapist
an emotional crutch
do you feel like you need them?
do you feel like you are inconveniencing them?
how about their problems?
what if they don’t like you?
do you remember the first time you felt like you can’t fully trust anyone?
not because someone might do something malicious
but because you feel like you are contributing to their suffering
selfish, but you will feel bad
or do you lеan on to them?
at the end, do you always only havе yourself?
sometimes all my everyday interactions feel like trauma+bonding
everything from talking and spending time together to kissing and holding hands
it’s not something out of the ordinary, but it feels so strange
not hollow, not cheap. but something is so heavy about it
it is so disgusting to acknowledge it
are interpersonal relationships supposed to feel like this?
everyone in my life is suffering through the same trauma
do i love these people?
how easy would it be to leave them?
will i feel the same when i am away?
meeting new people, finding new emotional crutches
where do i go after i leave?

- kaho matsui lyrics

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