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kamikazi - dear mother lyrics

[verse 1]
you hit me up tellin’ me i don’t deserve the life you gave me, well
maybe it’s the truth and i been roomin’ since a baby, h-ll
i’ve been elevated since the 80’s from this crazy spell
try to meditate, but i saw satan in my safest realm
momma says i’m fake and i ain’t never been through any h-ll
everything i say is just a way for me to sin for wealth
anything i make, she be ashamed that i ain’t livin’ well
disrespect your name when i spit flame and i will see a cell
you tell me i’m funny, i remind you of the old you
the one supportin’ everyone before they come dethrone you
-ss-ssinate your character, no parents to control you
starin’ out your window, blowin’ endo from my own view
i will not surrender to your methods i’m opposed to
refuse to be a victim of the sick that never owns you
[?] ya actin’ just how you supposed to
been so motherf-ckin’ long that i don’t really even know you
i wish we could talk, you know, act like f-ckin’ adults, but
you gotta come to grips with the fact that everything ain’t my fault, huh
i learned to turn on my energy whenever melody happens to [cross flux ?]
get me [in but it ?] different get a rhythm right off of the riddle then bust, hush

[bridge]
remember the time it was rainin’ so hard
i was runnin’ on air just to make it to your arms
i couldn’t see nothin’ in front of me, felt like a [?] there was a pause please
catch me, don’t you forget me [?] harm
i love you momma, i just hate what i’ve seen you become
even though you hid it well, i wasn’t mad at the drugs
or how my dad was good for nothin’ but [ejac’in’ and dunks ?]
i stand imagine through the madness livin’ happy as f-ck. brain

[interlude]
someone who gets you going through a midlife crisis and you think you’re in some gang [?]
and some little brainsick f-ckin’ cult
and my f-ckin’ page
and just gonna f-ckin’ hold up in court, you dummy?
oooh, [?] f-ckin’ drugs, okay?
i’ll take these [?], sweetie
and you’ll never dox me
okay, just post it on there
that’s f-ckin’ abuse and slander if you come and do it
why you wanna join in now because i won’t have nothin’ to do with your triflin’
you can’t [go soft on someone ?]
down down down
down down down down
down down down
down down down down

[verse 2]
not too many know this, so let me dig up one of my secrets since you
keep bringin’ this sh-t up all in my e-mail for no reason
i was molested up in the 6th grade ’cause my aunt’s dad was a demon
watchin’ the tyson fight, fell sleep, woke up to this n-gga touchin’ my p-n-s
i was so sick to my stomach, i panicked, i couldn’t confront him, i ran in the bathroom
i vomit, i manage to get it together [but what there be different enough ? ?] your problems
i opened the door, when i walk out i said i was sick
i need to call my momma so i pick up the phone and i sit
i was scared that any minute he would flip then throw a fit
you finally answered, “can you come and get me?”, ‘s all that left my lips
i said it quick ’cause i don’t want to let him know this what it is
you never heard my nervous tone, but i can tell he did
so you been tellin’ me you were busy, call [zanetta ?] for a lift
probably was thinkin’, “my poor baby, he just always homesick”
someone could send me, i feel this is it, should i go pick up a knife? think i can get it to stick?
think over twice, lookin’ him up in his eye, watchin’ him ball up his fist, sh-t
“h-llo”, “hey, [zanetta ?], can you come get me, please
my momma’s on the north side, it’d be more time if she leaves
she told me to call you so i called you, can you please come get me
i’ll be out front, everything’s packed up”, she didn’t ask nothin’ but the street

[outro]
do you have a clue what you’re doing?
no, seriously
and you’re gonna use your [?] to try to validate me?
you know what i realize?
our whole relationship is hopeless
they say you ain’t sh-t if you don’t have a relationship with your mother, but what you fail to realize is i’ve tried
i’ve given this woman more than enough chances
more than enough chances, i got no more chances left in me
that’s alright. do you realize how f-ckin’ sick you are?

- kamikazi lyrics

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