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kamikazi - lone soldier lyrics

[intro: kym (spoken)]

as always, our session will be recorded
so kyle, for today’s session, i’d really like for you to open up to me a little more
maybe dig deeper into some issues that you haven’t really been facing
during our talks i feel like there’s some things that maybe you need to address
so
why don’t you open up to me? tell me what’s on your mind
let’s start with your childhood

[verse 1: kamikazi & (kym)]

that’s all i really do is open up
put the pen to the pad, let it soak it up
when i think about my dad, kinda chokes me up
and all the sh-t i never had got me broken up
and all i really wanted was some clothes and stuff
used to hover by the oven, it was cold as f-ck
h-lla hoes, or sl-ts
i blamed momma cuz she chose the drugs
yet i really wasn’t old enough
but still holdin’ up
(do you feel like you hold a grudge?)
only cuz i never felt the love
and everything i ever cared about
or when in doubt either leaves or retreats just left me numb
i’m sick of talkin’ ’bout it, let’s be done
it’s been a long road, sweatin’ blood
i shed my tears with the best of ’em
and i don’t wanna take another second stressin’ over sh-t that was

[hook: kym]
lone soldier
walkin’ this lonely road of lonesome
come from that
broken home
(?)
cuz the only life that i know
a life without you
a life that i knew
that life left me
bruised and scarred
i need a new start
a life that is new

[verse 2: kamikazi]

you know what just k!lls me?
that my daughter has to feel this pain
her mother ain’t sh-t
but if i speak how i feel my daughter gets b-tchy
she has so much of a temper but she found her niche
she just really needs a fit to release this sh-t
13 years old, she don’t need this sh-t
all because her momma wasn’t meant to live like this
it makes me sick
man i grow just like you
if anyone knows the pain i do
i feel like we lost our bonds somewhere along this road
i’ve tried to find you
it;s like you don’t trust me enough to remind you
that i’ve been the one that’s been here right beside you
i guess i deserve it
maybe i am just as worthless the hate that my mother’s confined to
(?) to find you
i’m not one to hold a grudge
but d-mn, where the f-ck is the love?
everybody wanna throw me to the mud
maybe it’s karma cuz i told my momma i’m done
sits in the dark since they show me no sun
i tried to live life though this life mighta won
and my daughter don’t know what i could’ve become
or wish i would be if i didn’t step up and i pray that they don’t

[hook: kym]

[outro: kamikazi]

i ain’t got too many friends
and i ain’t got too many homies
my momma is trippin’
i ain’t close to anyone unless they still know me
so it’s me with this pen
and this be for my homie
brainsyck the mission
i wish upon stars
when i (?) and record and mix my emotions
and right to the morning
absorb my thoughts
find the source of my orbit to you
(?)
(?)
without a warning
i seem like an orphan
maybe it’s me in the storm
when angels and demons perform
and i could see more within me if there wasn’t this fortress stuck in this portrait
oh, but my life is so different i
inherit this thought that i wish to die
i am so scared that i pray to god every night
“please disinfect me”
i beg the sky
never look through the eyes of an angel
fly by the planets and stars
we are the future

- kamikazi lyrics

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