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kashfi z. - if i spoke first lyrics

[intro]
i almost said it
twice in the car
once while you laughed
and once in the dark

[verse 1]
there were words right there
pressed behind my breath
moments shaped like open doors
but i just watched you step
you looked away and i felt it all
the gap, the slip, the soft withdraw
could’ve asked if you still saw me
could’ve said
“i’m scared you’ll leave”
but i waited
for you to read the weight
hoped my silence
would translate fate
and by the time i found my voice
you were already
half+noise

[chorus]
if i spoke first
would you have stayed?
if i broke first
would we have swayed?
or were we always
built to fade
held together
by what we never said?
[verse 2]
i wrote it once
left it unsent
deleted truth
just to prevent
a shift too soon, a crack too loud
a chance you’d leave
if i said it proud
i practiced lines in bathroom light
rehe+rs+d my hope
before the night
but you just smiled
and filled the sp+ce
and i let silence
win that race
i thought i’d lose if i said more
but i lost you
for keeping score

[chorus]
if i spoke first
would we be now?
if i broke first
would you allow
the version of me
who doesn’t wait
who says “don’t go”
before it’s late?
[bridge]
i never asked
you never stayed
that’s not fate
that’s delay

[final chorus]
if i spoke first
maybe you’d hear
the part of me
that held you near
but now i speak
to empty air
and wonder who
was almost there

[outro]
not all regrets are loud
some are
just
late

- kashfi z lyrics

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