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kat victoria - ptsd (freestyle) lyrics

the last time i heard from you was on my 21st birthday
and i swear to god your favourite thing to do is hurt me
so i started smiling when we crashed my car
your denim eyes would light up when we went too far
swore i’d stopped loving you after i’d counted the stars
but, i turned impatient when it got too hard
now, i don’t know where the h-ll this ends
now, i don’t know where the f-ck you’ve been
but, i know you ripped all the wallpaper off of my heart
so i don’t know, how we could ever restart

cause every time i thought i knew who you were
you shed your skin
and i guess i should’ve realised
you were poisonous

but i still open my mouth and let you spit your venom in
because i’ve never felt more alive than freezing to death on your twin-sized bed
and i’ve tried everything to get you out of my head
and i’ve prayed to everyone to bring you back from the dead
so we can do it again if you want to – go back and get drunk on that roof
maybe this time i’ll get drunk too
maybe this time i won’t try and fight you
but we can sit on your bathroom floor get high with badlands on a loop
there’s nothing i wouldn’t do to travel back in time to you
can’t tell if i love you, tell if i hate you, but you’ve taken a toll on me
i’m still not rid of all the bruises that you couldn’t never go and leave on me
and there’s still an outline of you sketched onto my sheets
but i forgive you even if you’re not sorry

you hated my music and i hated it when you cheated me
i still have flashbacks, and sometimes i can’t sleep
can’t comprehend what the f-ck you did to me
but my therapist says it’s ptsd

- kat victoria lyrics

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