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katabasis - neurosis lyrics

calendars hanging from the wall
359 days of withdrawal
left me f-cked inside these walls
carve in stone all my faults
losing sense in this dimension
that breeds false fate and ill intentions
cleanse me with my paranoia
write me vows you cannot keep
and i’ll be a witness to shattered dreams
let the warmth come over me
dig me a grave no one can reach
and i’ll lie with my eyes wide open
with my gl-ss like emotions
screaming for a sense of clarity
writing vows i cannot keep
for my chest is caved in
from my racing mind
and my trembling hands
for i can’t help but think
that i’m just the son
of collapsed lungs
and i’ll try to say i need you
but i can’t make out the words
so i just swallow them whole
and hope you see i’m at my worst
for i’m weak, tired, and so full of hate
seeking validation
in self caused pain
everyone’s out for gore
and my wrists are slit
on this lonesome tower
built on shame and terror
i wanna be another cold soul
that always takes and takes and takes
so i can lay with the fellow sons and daughters of cain
all these anxious claims
they’re my way of staying sane
i’ll just live another day
in this godd-mn sorrowful rain
so lay me on the altar
oh, god of mental strife
treat my body as a temple
i wanna set things right
as this recluse that i’ve become
is just a wh0r- of self hatred
but i’m learning that’s my natural skin
so treat me like another b-st-rd kid

and i’ve grown so comfortable
with this state i’m in
forced smiles on another thoughtless whim
as commitment is an ocean
i’m tired of diving in
my eyes stapled open
and my head never rests
longing for victory
in neurosis tyranny
i wanna live in false misery
blinking lights
in a soul sunken city
live life like the heartless men
who always finds a way to win
let the dying gods crash to their knees
lay them to waste in the garden of gethsemane
for i’m throwing in the towel
in this fight with my existential means

- katabasis lyrics

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