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kennedy betts - m e lyrics

m e [prod. by simba]

cause that person use to be me
and part of him is still breathing
i keep looking in the mirror
to see which one i’m feeding

i was smoking joints and gbs
going round like a cd and
i was always with my best friend
but neither of us were really free

light left my eyes
each time i got high
i died more inside

i was running from the truth
the worst part was i knew
i’d roll 1 with the moon
window down as i cruised
round 2 around noon
3 times by 4 o’clock
and soon i couldn’t stop
each day after work
a blunt rolled by 5
i’d walk down the street
a little over a mile
6,000 steps then
into the tree line
i’d cross over a stream
by a tree on it’s side
i’d sit down on a bench
where 7 birds fly
i’d give it a spark
inhale, my soul cried
i’d look up at the sky
then down at my weed
this battle raged inside
i knew it was k!lling me
wouldn’t even get high
it just became a need
every breath was a sigh
and every time i would breathe
inside of my mind
one question
one thought
on repeat

do i want god
or to be empty?

a hit in between
and then exhale deeply
about half way through it
i would throw it at my feet
stomp it in the dirt
but feeling so defeated
walking home with my head low
the .gif repeated
this was my routine
it lasted 8 weeks
every single day back
to the previous scene
and this entire time
i was making other music
but 9 times out of 10
my spirit it was losing
cause i couldn’t escape
all the internal bruising
that my mistakes gave
cause i tried to paint over it
with a nice shade of white
and overlook the fact
i had fallen from light
from the walk mixtape
that was back in may
but june is when i stumbled
an avalanche it became
the conversion of a snowball
to boulder rolling away
but only half of that song was true that day

and the next few months
i already portrayed
in the verse before
light vs. dark
and my back and forth
same lesson everyday
but i would crash off course
alone is what felt
cause i was running right to h-ll
i knew the way back
but wouldn’t humble myself
then right after october
i finally got sober again
only cause a concussion
knocked some sense in my head
by kennedy betts
was my attempt to confess
11 road to jesus songs within two weeks of this
but i never faced the depths
of how far i transgressed
thought i could say sorry and then just forget?
but that’s not how it works
i let the demons back in
heavier and worse than the initial bondage
i kept talking about freedom
but i myself was a hostage

the year changed and i was sober now
but binge watching anime
distracting myself, it’s hard to get out
when you ignore the right way
then χριστόφορος was published in may
one month later reaching into darkness
thought i was giving help
but my heart was still hardened
i still struggled in myself
story 小説 from then til august
first 12 chapters showed what i really felt
last 13 were made from memories
september 14th, keep ∞ walking hit the screen
but that same night i took lsd i
f you wanna know what happened read my testimony
i was wearing a disguise of where i use to be
more concerned about an image than hypocrisy
like when i was 15, my mind constantly
only focused on the social media feed
and my ears were on the lips of the gossipy
like foursquare where we all just want to be
the king, on top protect our own box that’s the policy
but we try to ignore what we don’t want to see
we gotta transform, prime, 17
can’t hide, come clean, and honestly
thought i was 99, wayne gretzky
but i had to let go, hold reset key
cause the ancient of days, he sent me
to a place i never want to be
he showed me my mortality
just over 1/5 of a century
i’m young, but i’m still guilty
i’m healthy, but i’m filthy
and my heart was the first step
of letting everyone see

the real me
naked and no lies
no mask to hide behind
kbetts21 was just afraid to die
scared to let people know the whole truth
this is where i’ve been, and i’ve got no excuse
there’s even more, but it’s not time for that news
and where i am now’s getting a lot better too
i’m still working my back but now that i wrote this i
feel a lot less trapped and closer to you

i know the right words, and they’re easy to spew
doesn’t matter what i say if it’s not what i do
doesn’t matter what i make, if it’s not made in truth
i was worshipping myself, instead of worshiping you
and when i say worship him, something in you wants to cringe
cause the flesh hates the spirit, that’s the battle within
but this is the truth
one dies and one lives
so what do you choose?
to resist or give in?

this is the truth
one dies and one lives
so what do you choose?
to resist or give in?

- kennedy betts lyrics

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