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kenneth masters & dept. of rec. - freddy vs. jason (original) lyrics

kenneth masters & dept. of rec. – “freddy vs. jason”
[emcee(s): kenneth masters and adam 12]
[producer(s): stape mega]

[verse 1: kenneth masters]
yo, we strike like a match, push back and blow the wax, throw
the sk!lls to the max, super cl-ssic like golden axe
i’m relaxed. the back just tracking the sky blue
we was late for a few but still made it for round 2
nothing’s sacred. i danced to stape in the crowded pavement
looked to the ring—amazing, yo, it’s freddy versus jason
oh my goodness! freddy stepped out, was on some shook sh-t
creeping around the ring, sidestepping, and walked crooked
jason overlooked it and tried to grab him from the side
but you know how freddy do: he’s playing tricks with his mind
he appeared from behind and tried to hack him in the back
jason snuffed him in his face and laid him flat out on the mat. the crowd
was screaming. freddy jumped up, his mouth was leaking
couldn’t take the sight of bleeding. on his knees and started pleading
jason started squeezing around his neck, then gripped him tighter
freddy evened up the odds and made a tag to michael myers
yo, they’re cheating. it’s two against one. the ref ain’t seeing
sleeper hold around his neck, michael myers left jason dreaming
freddy couldn’t wait to take him back to crystal lake, but his
corrupted plans disrupted by a psycho norman bates
with a shovel in his hands, norm’s ready for work
f-cked up freddy and mike ‘cause he wearing a skirt, but while
they’re laughing, he started ‘ttacking and scar-smashing
it couldn’t last long ‘cause michael myers bear-grabbed him
freddy started slashing. it looked like norm about to fall
so he brought the leprechaun in the ring, ready to brawl
yo, this kid is raw, throwing his hands, using the ring, so michael
called his shorty up—charles leaped right to do his thing. now it’s
really on. chucky versus the leprechaun
they just circle in the ring, sizing up, and bearing arms
chucky tried to dance in, and, leprechaun, he started prancing
around the ring, sweet with his feet, and taunting
to aggravating chuck. leprechaun, he can’t be touched, but since
charles from the streets, he did back and gave a rush
leprechaun got struck. he’s down on the mat, he yelling, “f-ck”
chucky hopped on his back and threw him in a camel clutch. this scene
is sickening, something to witness, tremendous, vulgar
then leatherface entered the ring and took it over
he’s a true soldier with a chip on his shoulder
‘cause his movie franchise the only one that’s really over
started chainsaw-murdering, ripping bodies apart
had chucky b-tching up ‘cause he trying to eat out his heart
then we had to route and couldn’t see the final bout
so i’ll leave it up to 12 to tell y’all how it all turned out

[interlude 1: sample from halloween (1978)]
movie announcer: lock your doors, bolt your windows, and turn off the lights. don’t go away

[verse 2: adam 12]
yo, a funny thing happened last night at the coliseum
a blockbuster brawl with strange happenings abound and
the crowd roared, the bell sounded, the queen stepped out and
surrounded by drone aliens with eggs beneath her legs
then this real s-xy chick came out the other end and
she was dope with evil eyes and completely buck-naked
until she transforms into biomechanical b-tch
and launches at the queen with these tubes to vanquish sh-t
the queen alien collides with that k!ller species chick
it’s all-female now—now you’re watching freaky sh-t
the waves started when the wizards of eastwick came swooping like
kamikazes, diving in on three flying broomsticks
and just when then magical birds started throwing spellwork
they got snaked by the vampire from lair of the white worm
scared of witches to the point of having white perms
suddenly marred from swords and spits more web than words
the alien queen turns and hisses as the witches burn
and the white worm eradicates the species before becoming
worm fodder until martha came and got ‘em
and wrapped ‘em all in stickiness like a f-cking spilled lager

- kenneth masters dept of rec lyrics

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