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kesh dcftw - confused lyrics

i’m ever so confused with my thoughts feelings get ignored emotions get paused i hardly eat i hardly sleep finding it hard to find real me and make peace ever so broken feeling so weak thoughts of self harming are carving into me who do i go to when stuff gets deep mental health at its peak defeating me even though everyone says there here it still feels like i’m only one that’s here they ask me why i stay awake so deep in the night i tell em i’m k!lling off my demons and not going out without a fight i spoke to the devil and he said everything would be be alright but i told him i don’t fear him and i can see through his deceiving lies not letting him take over my mind trying to blind my shine and put me in reverse hoping that the final outcome is that i end up in a he+rs+ but that’s not what i deserve most times i feel cursed always putting real pain into a verse everyday i live and learn trying not to get burnt as our sh+t hits the slopes i hit the ropes i don’t ask for support or help as i don’t know how cope raw feelings and emotions take over slow they tell me no suicide or self harm but that’s hard to stick by when i’m been torn apart they tell me i’m crazy and insane cause i’ve got no outlets to express my pain if i died tonight would anyone even care if i die tonight would they keep my spirit alive or let all the memories burn and die if i died tonight would they even try to revive if i died tonight would they try bring me back to life if i died tonight would they even realise that i’ve passed my heart feels cracked my mind is fully jacked trust issues have me on the attack and the bad stuff in the past i can’t go back you only get 1 shot at life and that’s facts but it feels like i’m eternally trapped walking round in this sh+ll tryna figure out if i’m h+ll or if this is how it’s supposed to be why does my soul feel like it’s departing from me why am i haunting by all the bad memories when someone passes apparently they go to a better place so why can’t i escape and go visit this place where some of my loved ones apparently stay but it’s not my time so back on the grind i get it’s time to move on and accept i think i’m here for a reason but i don’t see it yet the sooner i see it it’s probably for the best the days go slow but the weeks go fast i don’t wanna keep losing close people but it’s out of my grasp and it makes me sad as death can come at anytime you’re not guaranteed a tomorrow in this life ever since i saw my uncle in the chapel of rest i keep having visions of everyone i love in there it fully f+cks with my mind i can’t rewind time i wish i could so i could save his life and make everything alright and stop everyone from grieving and hurting inside

- kesh dcftw lyrics

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