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kesh dcftw - flashbacks lyrics

(hook)
i keep having flash backs i don’t wanna flash back i don’t wanna back flash i don’t wanna go back i just wanna forget about the past and that’s that i just wanna forget about the past and that’s facts i don’t wanna backtrack i don’t wanna side track i just wanna elapse

(verse 1)
i don’t wanna deal with this anymore i feel like i’m going insane having different flashbacks everyday got no way to take away the pain always suffering in my own shame flash backs of my s+xual abuse put me in a right mood keep going through different versions of events hoping that i get a different outcome but what’s happened has happened and there’s no going back i can’t reverse time or change the past but it’s so hard to accept when flashbacks keep bringing me back putting me through the torture again meking me feel like i’m being slaughtered again having flashbacks to past relationships all the mental abuse that i had to cope with sticks with me and it tares me apart sometimes i don’t know who i am cause i can’t be a man being so broken and always giving a d+mn almost running out of plans including backups put a bullet in my brain and don’t backup don’t freeze up just put me out my misery cause these flash backs are literally k!lling me drilling me i hate them i can’t stand them i don’t plan them

(verse 2)
i really wish there was a way i could ban them but i can’t
eating away at my brain taking advantage of my pain i wish i didn’t have flash backs of my uncle cause that puts my brain in a scuffle flash backs to the chapel of rest wishing my uncle wasn’t dead flash backs to the day that he died wanted to break down and cry i really wish it was lie but it’s not in my heart you’ll never be forgot i just want the flashbacks to stop if they ain’t positive then i don’t wanna flash they just come when they please they ain’t apart of me sometimes i flashback to the physical abuse i had to go through i just sit there and i think why didn’t i leave is it because i wear my heart on my sleeve and i see the good in people no matter how they do me i’ve had all this trapped on my chest it feels like i can’t breathe to get it out might give me some relief i just want peace i don’t war hence why i’m always cleansing out my thoughts so these flashbacks can be ignored i don’t wanna be sent to another state of mind just keep getting tortured by my mind replaying the same memory again again hoping that it’ll change this time that’s the definition of insanity i can’t lie i’m not in it for this ride it seems like suicide and i won’t be a part of this i don’t care for my minds guilt trip this is my mind and i’m taking control it’s pretty hard to steer but i feel like i’m getting near as my vision is no longer blurry it appears to be clear i don’t need no help when i’m here as long as i don’t get trapped in the flash and sent back then i can make it through and back without worrying about the past i know i’m strong i know i can do this it’s gunna be difficult but i can get through this

(verse 3)
it’s gunna be difficult but i can get through this
i don’t wanna have flashbacks of my self harm every single day tearing apart my arm creating loads of scars in the process and burying my heart even deeper i thought self harm was my keeper but i had to leave it in the past before it landed me in an early grave and that’s facts i don’t want flashbacks to take over my life but they are hard to avoid within the mind

- kesh dcftw lyrics

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