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kesh dcftw - sexual abuse story rap lyrics

(verse)
when i was 13 i got s+xually abused in school it lasted for 45 minutes it was in ict on a friday he came over too me and asked me if we could play some games i said yes what happened next wasn’t blessed he started touching me down there he unb+ttoned and unzipped my trousers then he started too mess with my d+ck slowly pulling it and back forth as my eyes started fill i tried to call for help but nothing would come out as soon as i tried to break the silence he put his hand over my mouth and said it’s ok it’s all natural and stupid me i ej+cul+ted too so i felt like a fool never have i felt so much shame in my own body it’s knocked me off everything and hurt me properly even too write it down just hurts my brain because i reported it too the police and did a brave thing but i still feel like the school favourited him as the staff claim not too remember i can’t rate mr. scarlett and i can’t rate mr. pennant cause they where the two staff that sat us down and tried too sort everything out i told them what happened but they didn’t believe me my friend witnessed me freaking out and backed my story but they still thought nothing of it and pushed it too the side one of the staff opened there mouth and story spreaded round school and got me bullied at that point i was scolding myself every day trying to get through the pain i went home and tried too hang myself but that backfired as didn’t do it properly tried too overdose my self but it just made me sloppy at this point i thought f+ck it i can’t die looks like i’m gunna have too supress it to the back of my mind and that’s exactly what i did without a second think years later 2018 i’m 18 soon turning 19 and it still effects cause i feel like i didn’t get believed the whole point of reporting it is too get some justice i didn’t get no justice or no closure if anything i just got made out too be a liar police couldn’t take it any further cause of lack of evidence thanks rachel you really did try you’re best i can’t thank you enough for the things you’ve done it’s just a shame we didn’t win soon as i found out the case wasn’t going further i tried too end myself i tried too jump off a roof and get ran over my cars i tried too cut myself multiple times but i had a strong female by my side thanks courtney for everything you did you could of left you didn’t have stay i’ve been a right mind f+ck and that’s not okay i love you lots glad i got you babe back too story i’ve never felt so ashamed trying ever so hard too erase the memory out of my brain but it’s not working i’m continuously hurting i’ve felt years of regret by not speaking sooner and i’ve hated my body and myself for years i’ve had so many tears drop and blood spill at this point i’m surprised i haven’t been k!lled i don’t want this too break me i just want it too make me so i’m getting myself back together for my own safety there’s so much more too this whole story but this is just a quick summary my mum has helped she’s been an angel too thank you vernie dunno what i’d do without you i’ve shielded her and kept her away all because i’ve been embarrassed too explain and she doesn’t need the stress but she’s helped me loads besides all the drama thanks mum hopefully i can go farer and get over all this and make something possitive out of it f+ck hunters hill f+ck jahmel davis thanks for all the pain and stress you’ve caused me i never wanted to make this rap but because of everything you’ve done and got away with out of my control i can’t let it rot me away anymore like i’m mold thank you too every single person that has supported me through this whole thing i love and respect you all lots words can’t even explain how thankful i actually am for all the love and support sometiems i’ve been ignored and f+ck all the people that left next time i’ll catch you all is when where dead i’ve had mixed emotions while writing this all down i’ve never knew how to get it out so i guess this is my only way explain the mains parts of the incident and let the rest decay because it’s rotten and it needs too go i couldn’t give a f+ck about my flow i don’t get anything from this so don’t see it as that if anything if i’ve gave anyone in the world a chance to take a shot but if anyone violates jaws get rocked bodies get chopped and people go missing but that don’t have anything to do with me i’m just a young adult trying to get by and get my experience off my mind i’ve had so many flashbacks so many nightmares wake up drenched in sweat crying over night fears sleep with the light on so it’s way more brighter keep my close people tight so i don’t struggle with sh+te i’ve tried too cut myself away so many times lost track of how much this has f+cked with my mind so much badness and negativity from this i hated my body for years i felt ever so disgusted would look in the mirror and stream tears every day trying too burn away pain by that i mean my arms but without leaving any scars i saw the world in a different light i’m autistic too so i didn’t know what to do i’ve got so many learning difficulties it’s mad how no one helped me the staff left me too suffer and get bullied and whenever i reached out for help it got rejected quick so my perspective on life was like being left in a dark abyss no hope or way out just a load of negative thoughts that would never come out my mouth everything dark never light i’ve been through so much and i’m still alive with all the tears and blood i’ve lost i’m grateful to be alive and still have a spark
thank you god for giving me strength when i felt like i had nothing left this was my little s+xual abuse story if any one you know or even youreself has been through something similar or worse make sure you report it to the police and get the help you need you can do it you are ever so strong even when it seems bleak just hold on there is light and hope don’t let a horrible experience that wasn’t you’re fault make you give up hope and let go i love you lots i’m incredibly proud for every step you make you are being brave even if the case doesn’t go far remember you’re incredible and who you are you’ve done everything you can same with the police put you’re mind and heart at peace you’re not weak you’ve done so much for yourself and others you’re no longer burying any thing under covers the hard parts are over it’s all about the new i’m going too make sure i move on and so should you you’re better then all of this don’t let the scumbag win there’s a bright future ahead now go get more than you’re worth don’t let any good opportunity pass and get lost in the dirt make me proud and the people around you remember too love yourself and not too be too hard on yourself

(talk at the end)

- kesh dcftw lyrics

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