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kevin bloody wilson - my grandfather's cock lyrics

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my gradfather’s c-ck was an itsy bitsy d-cky
and it hardly took up any room at all
had a head and a neck, but jesus christ by heck
you should’ve seen the size of granddad’s b-lls

he had a h-rn on the morn of the day that he was born
and though it was erect you couldn’t see
cause my grandfather’s c-ck was a p-ssy little p-sser
but his clangers they were hanging to his knees

a tiny wee appendage (not a c-ck, not a c-ck)
an inch from end to end, it’s (not a c-ck, not a c-ck)
just a stump, short, like a tiny little wart
on the old man’s nuts

well my grandfather’s c-ck was a huge motherf-cker
and his p-ck-r was a wrecker so they say
and you shoulda seen the head, you shoulda seen the neck
you should take me for a wrestle in the hay

had a head like a steer, nothin’ ‘tween the f-ckin’ ears
you shoulda seen that god d-mn neck
like a giant of a man with a pumpkin in his hands
kept that pumpkin f-ckin’ pumpin’ near to death

you shoulda seen that darn thing (what a c-ck, what a c-ck)
rearin’ like a mustang (what a c-ck, what a c-ck)

it was wild, mean, coiled up in his jeans
whoop-it-i-oh let her out and let her ride

well my grandfather’s c-ck was just average for an aussie
weighed i spose, thirty, fourty pounds
and overall his old fella was just a couple of inches
just a couple of inches fron draggin’ on the ground

had a vein in its neck like a f-ckin’ opera singer
and a head like an old school bell
and a pair of leather knackers like a ringer’s saddle bags
picked up ribbons at the royal show as well

fair d-nkim mate, i kid you not (what a c-ck, what a c-ck)
just an average aussie c-ck (what a c-ck, what a c-ck)
and he still ploughs an acre every day
crawlin’ round on his hands and his knees

- kevin bloody wilson lyrics

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