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kid copter - weed in the carpet lyrics

(hoax)
there’s weed in the carpet and it clogs up my roomba
got the eyes of buscemi with the head of a goomba
disney’s prince pumbaa
a vision, yet my therapist requested that i take better care of this ass
i’m finding it hard to be serious when i’m scared
and then i stare outside
it’s godd+mned hilarious out there
so shut the window
you’ll let the air out
and that’s my f+cking air

(charlatan)
he’s the heist man
he’s holdin’ you up
put him in your lineup and he’ll score an easy lay up gotta
brush up on his pick up game
he knows that life just ain’t the same with a nerf hoop on the door frame
ankle sprain, he’s out for the big game
chicks dig scars, not cars so he can’t complain
left brain, more verbal +n+lytical than the right brain
switch the gatorade to champagne

(calypso)
stop right there!
even when the chips are down
i’ll get what i came for
you won’t get away
you’ve got h+ll to pay
you’re gonna rue the day
you made me your enemy
(hoax)
the man in the tan plymouth voyager van
my loyal boys are hardy and our parties are lan
direct linkup
dialup is taking too long to sync up
two weeks to hack it
now a fortnight is gone
so drink up!
coffee, black with room for kahlua
guzz guzz, buzz buzz
loud and low like a tuba to do a scuba dive on your personal life
i know your credit card, social, and the name of your wife to screw ya

(charlatan)
heist man
he’s duckin’ the fuzz
sleaziest scuzz if ever there was
he’s not a nice man
a sinner for fun
celebrates at home with a dinner for one
yeah he’s the heist man
a fool on his throne
sleepin’ in the office while he’s workin’ from home
he’s eatin’ rice cakes, it’s high stakes
not n0ble but he’s globally known as the
(calypso)
stop right there!
even when your hands are tied
i’ll get what i came for
you won’t get away
you’ve got h+ll to pay
you’re gonna rue the day
you made me your enemy

(hoax)
can’t afford a mortgage
cause i serve food to the fortunate brood of tourists
in from lake forrest
who abhor the poorest
but adore popping down for a short trip to river north in the summer

my shift ends on a different day once the floor dries from their p+ss and i miss my train in the rain at the brown line switch
and the next one’s only (expletive) 28 minutes away
what a bummer
i don’t care
my night really fared well
call it diversifying my income and welfare
when some of you shared a lot of what’s in your wallet
snapshotted to subsidize my health care

“i used to live around this address! has it changed at all?”
i asked when i carded you for alcohol
and you confessed
you still live there
but you’re in town for the weekend
i’m gonna guess your house has nice stuff and i got tomorrow off
and i could go for a drive

(charlatan)
heist man takes a trip to the burbs
opens your garage with the date of your birth
thievin’ lies man
he’ll float til he’s sunk
drives back to the city with your sh+t in his trunk
yeah he’s the heist man
a tick on a snake
drinkin’ up the poison that his ceilings are fake
yeah he’s a banshee in your pantry
and he’ll take until he meets what’s at stake
but he won’t…

(calypso)
stop right there!

- kid copter lyrics

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