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kiddglokk - back at it again lyrics

verse 1:
i can’t sleep at night, i just toss and turn
i can’t eat, hunger was lost at birth
i feel weak, both physically and mentally
i can’t beat these demons out of me
i’m lifting my head trying to catch my breath
but try to stay sane, when you live in your deathbed

verse 2:
it’s like i’m constantly having to fight for my life
i’ll reach the point where i’d rather slowly die
so i just might grab a knife
slit open my throat so i can finally speak my mind
or should i put a rope around my neck and tie
hang myself from the sky, so i can really see the light
maybe if i take my life with a nine
pull the trigger to my head, to open my third eye
or should i down a bottle of pills at night
overdose, over the rainbow, to reach the dark side

chorus:
i just don’t want to live anymore
but what if my mom walks through my door
will i still be a disappointment, maybe then even more
if she sees me lying dead on the floor
i can’t do this anymore, feeling so deeply alone
it’s not a want, it’s a need, is there any other way to go

verse 3:
i live in fear that staying alive will draw me near
my real self, what if its someone i just can’t spend the rest of my years
this is no way to live, no way to die, but i still
can’t find a way out of this casket that i built
and i don’t know what scares me more, staying alive
or being remembered as a f-cking suicide
should i stay alive or take my life
but really, i can’t take something that was never mine

verse 4:
i’m just existing, i’m just here, i am not freely living
take my life or take a life? who am i kidding

hook:
all-be-d-mned, i’m back at it again
me and my mind blowing up like the taliban
yeah, my stress up, but i’m blessed up
not at all
b-tch i’m messed up
now there’s blood in the bathroom stall

verse 5:
a switch to my wrist
shooting my shot
but i’ve only ever missed
obviously she don’t want me
i’m a mess who’s always depressed
i’ve tried to find love
but someone always f-cks it up
first time that i’ve smiled in a while
but it doesn’t even matter
every time i see those pictures
makes me sadder
i’m going insane
called a mad hatter

verse 6:
and one thing that i love and hate the most
is people always change but the memories don’t
and lately i can’t even eat
lately i’ve been feeling ill
when you cannot sleep at night
that’s when you know sh-t is real
you don’t even need a gun
you don’t even need a pill
if you ever wanna die
fall in love and you’ll get k!lled…

- kiddglokk lyrics

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