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kilila - who am i lyrics

[verse 1: kilila]

driving in my car, down the boulevard
painting down the train yards, piecing up some freight carts
staying off the radar, and away from home
mom, i’m chilling with some friends, but not really though
you can never read emotions looking really close
so i paint and write, just to stay afloat
these n-ggas deal with depression, so they don’t really know
how to cope with sh-t, just take a hit, and let these feelings go

but later on, when that feelings gone it keeps coming back
having family issues, and a girl that don’t know how to act
f-nny packs, napoleon i’ll be happy if you bring it back
just to show how much freaking weight they carry on a strap!
look at that, no… look at that
why is that n-gga so different compared to other cats?
is being different wrong, or is being a basic -ss
i don’t know you tell me, cause i can’t find my path!
insecurities ruin me, i’m thinking too deep
hope this used thing, makes me better, changes the new me
improves things, but later down the line
it freaking screws me
turns out, these people with the same sh-t hardly knew me

i thought we had sh-t in common, but you have no freaking comment
as you stuff g’s in your pockets, you try to give me a bargain
but i don’t want that sh-t. all i want is to be friends, with no conflicts
but you just tryna sell your weed at the apartments
straight cash, and no deposits
once your in it, man you’re locked in
drug dealing you can’t stop it
look at me, like man that’s nonsense

[bridge: kilila]

man, that ain’t even a word
man, just shut up, and learn
i see ya’ll flop, when i turn
as my cd rotates, and burns
i’m that little n-gga
known as the asian kid first
never was good at piano, but this rapping sh-t works

[verse 2: kilila]

be accepted for who you are, and don’t fake it
you’ll put yourself around a group, that is later mistaken
this is victory in the making, you start with the basics
i’d rather sample that on a plate, then acid that’s tasteless
pot heads upgraded to c0ke, around the trade wins
getting high to the head, screaming “n-gga we made it!”
you don’t relies it, when you’re k!lling brain cells
i see that you’re in pain still
you just ease it, with horse pills
i’ll take you out of that gutter
sister, mother, and brother
can’t forget about pops, that’s probably my main n-gga
i’d take a bullet if blucka’d
cause, i love ya

[outro: kilila]

can’t get these demons off my back, that n-gga play to much
just saved god under my contacts, i try to keep in touch
just like a brother, or a father he just shows me love
but like any other person, i don’t see him much
i’m to caught up in this life i live
remember to pray every night, and sh-t
never really was close to him, but
before i die, i wanna know what love is
before i die, i’d say goodbye to my parents
who am i? god has the answers…
so why, why am i living this life, without knowing myself
i thought i knew me well, but my parents knew my actions when i raised h-ll
i’m a teenager, i’m invincible, i could live by my d-mn self
later on, i miss mamas cooking so i crawled back to her sh-ll well…
this bullsh-t is just part of life
this sh-t is kinda do or die
asking who are you, but you should ask
who am i?

- kilila lyrics

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