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killjay - if nothing changes.. lyrics

i feel it coming
they tell me im next up
but i dont know if i want it
im taking these meds to numb out the pressure
shaking in bed at night pain doesn’t let up
i could be better
but i dont wanna be
i ain’t showing any interest in healing
overtaken by the strangest of feelings
overtaken by the voice of these demons
you can pretend but you dont understand it
i dont regret i just wish i could vanish
i can’t forget and forgive i am damaged
i lost a whole f+cking year to the xannies
nothing is going the way that i planned it
nothing is guaranteed on this planet
i kinda preferred when i didn’t have purpose
when will i learn that this life isn’t worth it
they all warned us, all the greats
drugs imported they from interstate
what is this feeling i cannot get rid of it
i tried to switch it up plenty of times
stuck in the deep caught up in the abyss of it
i wanna die but im better alive
i wanna cry but im dead in the eyes
im tryna figure out why but im too high
running in circles im losing my mind
im forgetful i sweat like a b+tch in the night
when will the rain over me ever let up
when does the pain die so i can just get up
f+ck it im outta here next year if nothin changes
im gonna disappear if i dont make it
when i die dont put me in playlists

- killjay lyrics

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