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king of the dot - charron vs chedda cheese lyrics

[round 1: charron]
i found out the name of the first person that’s been on his c-ck
did y’all see how nervous ubiquitous got?
don’t think any of your g-y jokes will apply to me
just cause at the moment i’m a lot closer to a f-ggot than i’d like to be
i project you’re quieting your tone is getting thinner
we’re finding out you’re quiet, i’m exposing this beginner
when the judges say his f-cking name is chosen for the winner
wouldn’t hear them say “cheese” if they were posing for a picture
i bet the name of your first spouse will be “larry” or “dan”
you’re forced to marry a man when you’re looking like the son from american dad
i heard you’re the personal b-tch of all your friends
they pick you up, shake you, call you their pet
i saw zack swing you around as you were bobbing your head
like, “hey sketch menace am i popular yet?”
your first win was against porich, you clever little lyricist
your first opponent is like the first girl you slept with as a [?] kid
they were f-cking smashed and regret the whole experience
yo, i got a few pimples but that acne is gnarly
it looks like you got chicken pox and scratch it with car keys
chedda, that sh-t’s got craters and illuminates the streets
i guess it’s really true that the moon is made of cheese
when you and ubiquitous spit that [?] scheme it sucked
unoriginal and pitiful, practicing for months
you had to jump in cause your friend couldn’t craft a decent punch

[jack sh-tt]
and that sh-t’s weak as f-ck!

[round 1: chedda cheese]
charron, what are you doing here?
this trip was a bad little mistake man
your parents don’t let you travel unless they know you’re in safe hands
so you told yourself you’re a brave man then plotted out an escape plan
just wait til i tell your mom that you’re not really at sp-ce camp
to know charron is home alone or roaming like a mobile phone they don’t condone
i’m known to get it cracking like your vocal tone
you don’t promote your own persona though, charron
you probably go and clone my chromosomes and change your name to “provolone”
quit lying about your age man, why you gotta act so weird?
you’ve been claiming you’re 17 for the past two years
don’t even bother trying to conjure up some intellect
you’re an adult who pretends to be a child, like your father on the internet
and i’m perfectly convinced that this kid with a lack of rhythm is addicted to masochism
cause this is a cataclysm
i can’t believe you’ve never inflicted an aneurysm
from all your exaggerated, ridiculous mannerisms
but no one here would commemorate all that garbage you demonstrate
make an effort to elevate, then you can celebrate
even though i’m a heavyweight, we’re a couple of featherweights
if we got on a t–ter totter together it would levitate

[round 2: charron]
yo, he said i’m at sp-ce camp, while i shout for his girl
i’m not at sp-ce camp but your girl’s bl-w j-bs are out of this world
we’re both casually dressed and can’t brag about s-x
but when i ask out girls who are average at best to random events
they laugh at me less
if you’re sl-tty enough to let chedda cheese in yo’ p-ssy
it probably smells like cheddar cheese in yo’ p-ssy
honestly it sucks
hasn’t kissed a b-tch in probably six months
only time he leaves the bar with a broad or a big sl-t
is when his mom has him picked up from his job at the strip club
your mom doesn’t mind giving you rides, it’s just a safe bet
i mean, she has to go in anyway to pick up her paycheck
you’re watching overbite, in the backroom with your mother
he comes out hesitant, and asks you for a rubber
here him screaming, “what you mean it’s a nickle if i hit it for the first time?
that’s a bigger waste of money than a plane ticket for reverse live.”
hollohan forced you to perform in mma this week
you were getting chased from center stage and let out crazy screams
gasped for breath, grabbed the ref like, “jeff, just make him leave.”
ran towards a metal cage, pulled out pepper spray like, “get away from me
let’s just make some cheeeeese.”

[round 2: chedda cheese]
yeah, i’m a strip club dj, i can tell that you’re astounded/amazed
yes i play your sister’s music and announce her to the stage
see i kick it with sick schemes and k!ll it with dope hooks
your leaving with big dreams but really you’re so shook
the sickest of 16’s resided inside of my notebook
you chill with chicks who are 16 while watching the notebook
you wanna be like me i get it popping more often than canned pringles
while all you do is battle and market some wack jingles
see i make hits, produce records and craft singles
you’re just a fake version of chedda/cheddar, like kraft singles
so if it’s a mirror match, the mirror’s cracked
and now a mire wack meerkat, looking version of me peers back
but i’m everything you lack, what you never will surp-ss
better flow, better rhymes and i’m better on a track
i’m not even dissing you i’m telling you the facts
i’m superior in every single element of rap
and all your level of sk!ll never was ill
never improving or trend setting
i guess you struggle to raise the bar like either of us bench pressing
but you’re a whiner so when you lose it doesn’t end that well
i guess you’re just a bad sport like the xfl

[round 3: charron]
yo, he brought up the notebook, you better believe this
my d-ck’s like the notebook cause every girl has seen it
battling me, you’re feeling the strongest wrath of god
but that’s karma for the stage battle where hollohan got robbed
he f-cking hates your guts and you’re just so sad
that hollohan stares at you like, “i wanna snort you so bad.”
i know i’m the skinniest dude and i’m not bigger than you
but if you win i’ll just get hollohan to beat the f-cking sh-t outta you!
i’m up in his town but you’re a f-cking clown there’s no home advantage
your album dropped, that sh-t flopped, your parents know what happened
your parody songs apparently bombed and there’s no hope and practice
you’re smaller in the underground than gary coleman’s casket
sever compet-tors wow, check it i’m getting so loud
clever i’m getting it down, i hit him with a bit of the rhythm
and i’m shredding up chedda up in this round
he spits his double time, all obnoxious and swirled
he learned how to talk that fast from being nervous talking to girls
like, “hi, my name is chedda cheese i’m hoping there’s a chance
that we can like dance and maybe after that perhaps, aw shucks i peed my pants.”
you’ve never spit a freestyle in your life
look around the room, make an observation that’s precise
someone told me chedda cheese was gonna put up a fight
yeah, and i’m gonna have a threesome with these tapout girls tonight
yo, you duct taped your condom so they don’t roll off your tip
you’re so small even loe pesci wouldn’t choke on your d-ck
yo, you’re from a great town and you don’t even show it
the annual stampede, no one sees you going
calgary flames won the cup in ’89 and you don’t even know it
plus alberta’s got the best weed in canada and you don’t even smoke it

[round 3: chedda cheese]
that little fast flow you did was just sad
i rap to get amped
you’re mad that i’m bringing the rhythm and dope rhymes in a way that you can’t
and i’m sick of the pitiful gimmicks, you’re packing
ridiculous actions that you take to get the simpletons laughing
so if i lose it’s only cause i stick to the rapping
and refuse to rely on a bunch of s-x jokes to get a reaction
with that said, i heard you have a virtual girlfriend
i guess it’s kind of popular
you get behind your monitor and get online to blog with her
but she has so many infections and diseases that your firewall detects a virus every time you talk to her
and please chill out with the status updates
always gotta share something
thanks to you facebook now has a “no one cares” b-tton
so you’re a pretty big nerd, i’m a little bit nerdier
your voice is pretty girly, mine’s a little bit girlier
you’ve had a couple of girlfriends, i’ve never had any
you’re like a 130 pounds, i’m like a 120
you see this guy’s shine could never define mine
although you would die trying you’ll never be like i
so why try making comparisons like a wise guy
when obviously i am the ultimate nerdy white guy

- king of the dot lyrics

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