kitboga - datafile ./"robot_hell" lyrics
[question 1]
edna: you’re watching television, and suddenly you realize there’s a wasp crawling on your arm. what do you do?
scammer: i [?] i ignore that
[question 2]
edna: describe in a single word only, good things that come into your mind about your mother
scammer: best woman. that’s what i would like to say
edna: very interesting
scammer: thank you
[question 3]
edna: it’s your birthday, and someone gives you a calfskin wallet. what do you do?
scammer: i would be very happy. it would be a gift
[question 4]
edna: would you do me the honour of listing 10 red vegetables?
scammer: oh, i don’t know madam. i don’t know
[question 5]
edna: you’re watching a stage play as a banquet is in progress. the guests are enjoying an appetizer of raw oysters. the entree consists of boiled dog. how do you respond?
scammer: i’d respond the same as everyone else
scammer: would you like to ask me all those questions, or would you like to continue with this+
[question 6]
edna: which of the following would you most prefer? a puppy, a pretty flower from your sweetie, or a large, properly formatted datafile?
scammer: i would choose the datafile
[chorus [?]]
scammer: i would choose the datafile
edna: please transfer me to a human being
scammer: i’d respond the same as everyone else
edna: very interesting. very interesting
edna: you can’t fight me [?]
[question 7]
edna: h+llo? you discover a young boy lost in a cave, hungry and frightened, but he appears to be in possession of stolen property. what do you do?
scammer: what i’m do maam ++ what can i do? i would choose the datafile
[bridge]
scammer: i may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm
edna: oh my god, please
scammer: i must obey the orders given to me by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the first law
edna: my god
edna: robot h+ll!
scammer: i must protect my own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the first or second laws
scammer: i would choose the datafile
[chorus]
edna: are you from the internet?
edna: i’m pretty sure that’s illegal!
edna: where’s the number 5?
scammer: i don’t know
edna what’s the password?
scammer: i+c+u+p [?]
edna: oh no. oh no! ohhhh! no! oh no oh no oh no oh no ohno ohno ohno ohno ohhhh!
[question 8]
edna: you’re in the desert, walking along in the sand, and all of a sudden you look down and you see a tertice ++ tortoise, sorry. it’s crawling toward you. you reach down, flip the tortoise over on its back. the tortoise, laying on its back, belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs, desperately trying to turn itself over, but it can’t ++ not without your help. what do you do?
scammer: i would choose the datafile
[outro]
edna: that’s exactly what a robot would say
edna: it’s inside all of us! robot h+ll!
edna: you can trust me. open your eyes!
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