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klezmergord - regular joe lyrics

when i was young i was told i was a weird child
wore second hand shoes but i never wore a smile
i got bullied and picked on in the classroom
always being escorted by a teacher to the bathroom
always in trouble getting into a fight
then i became a teenager; same sh+t, different diet
controlled by rage and anger; hormonal
forever dreaming and wishing that i could just be normal

if sh+t was something extra curricular
then i guess i’ll always fail at being regular

sitting on the toilet
it’s half past 4 in the morning
sweat dripping down my back
(my back)
my guts be groaning
consumed by fear
blood in my diahorrea
i guess i will never know
(i guess i’m never gonna know)
what it’s like to be a regular joe
oh, oh oh yeah

i used to have a speech impediment
trouble saying my vowels
now i’m concerned about something that may have died in my bowels
cause when i’m stuck on the stool
you know i feel like a fool
working overtime just dropping the kids off at the pool
i can be stuck on there for twenty minutes and it burns
but at least in that time i can start on my tax return
i use that time to reflect
could call it personal growth
try to be the best i can be, whilst i’m pinching a loaf

if sh+t was something extra curricular
then i guess i’ll always fail at being regular

sitting on the toilet
(i’m sitting on the toilet)
it’s half past 4 in the morning
(in the f+cking morning)
sweat dripping down my back
(my back)
my guts be groaning
(oh! they’re groaning)
consumed by fear
blood in my diahorrea
i guess i will never know
(i guess i’m never gonna know)
what it’s like to be a regular joe
oh, oh oh yeah

fat dipping in the raisin basin
a water birth in the brown jacuzzi

(chorus)

cranking out a yam in william shatner’s bas+m+nt
release the chocolate hostages
i’m squeezing out a hot sglod, with the boom boom splat
ass jam slammin’ on a soapy colombus
i’m taking the hobbits to isengard

- klezmergord lyrics

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