kolgate - my life lyrics
born june 14th, in the year of 87,
i never ever thought i’d make it past the age 11,
when i was only 7 my daddy went up to heaven,
and left me all alone in the gutter just chashin cheddar.
my momma she got cancer, but slowly she got better
the virus it left her body, but pain remains forever,
at least that’s what she’d always say, everyday, and all d-mn
day, lift that bottle to her face, drink the pain in her life away.
a great example to display, kids don’t know the right way,
kids don’t know the wrong way, i had to find my own way, it seems i
took the long way, definitly the wrong way, hit that bong all day
mixed in x and foul play, built the man you see today, lost in life
in disarray, life for me aint been the same, aint no jokes or fun
and games, prolly go down amidst the flames, ashamed and proud
of my last name, no pointing fingers here, i’m the only one i got to blame,
i’m sorry.
that’s all that i could ever say, prolly all i’ll ever say,
like the blood that in my veins, when cut apart, i bleed permanent
stains, marks and scars build the soul and depth of my brain. forever
fall like the rain from the sky, kept myself up in bed every night askin,
‘oh god why?’ no answer, no remorse, no regrets, a picture aint no memory,
cause eventually, we all start to forget, it fades away, and abrubtly we all
start to see, the effects of the trail or path we’re following, it’s not the life
that you lead, or the road that you take, it’s the solution to our problems,
that all of us make. and we can stop and take a breather, a pause or a break,
but the world keeps spinning, it aint designed to wait. don’t hate, don’t waste
time of the day, get up get out, and get ya -ss paid, songs played, life made.
music is force, hour after hour life’s a verse, a bridge and a chorus.
a hook, i’m hooked, it’s the road i done took, and i’m’a keep on steppin
and back i aint gonna look. too much pain too much drama too much hurt
for my momma, not enough for my daddy, i can’t believe he just left me,
but it must of been tough, not seein his son’s, having himself an addiction,
and a lack of the funds. it’s ashame cause he could’ve been something,
but un-married i was born so his job be came struggling, barely made it
and i hate it cause i swear the man was a saint, life just caught him by the nose
and it made him insane. i just wish that he were smarter and aint take
that route, life would of been much different, man there aint no doubt,
i can’t yell at the dead so to this beat i’m’a shout…
why me?
i need to get out…
my life, all the pain and the stife,
it’s getttin a whole lot darker,
i need the light
to catch me as i fall,
wish i wasn’t there but i lived it.
i witnessed it all.
the sh-t i saw, no one should ever have to see.
the rise and fall, of my entire family.
it’s like someone shook the tree,
and our branch fell off,
when i started to stray
is when all hope was lost…
life goes on though, that’s all i can say, people are born and people live,
and people p-ss away, the in-between time, that’s for your own well being,
in a hundred years from now you life will hold no meaning.
unless you step up now, and make your mark, this is my attempt.
it’s just a shot in the dark. keep trying, don’t stop, it aint so bad, take what you got,
and think about what you could of had, cause with the good there is bad,
and with the bad there is good, it’s up to you to decide whih one you should
settle for, take in, live with, obey, it’s up to you and you alone, you’ll find the way.
i did, i promise.
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