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kotoji - caving in lyrics

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[verse 1]
secrets on my tongue
before kisses without second thoughts
a simple witty “so?”
bloomed a field of forget+me+nots

i’m trying to get in line
faced with illegible highway codes
you’re nightcruising in arizona
cayenne hills, the open road

[chorus]
now you have love around you
while i’m still wrapped in solitude
envy to the third degree
is this reminiscing or jealousy

every time i look to my rear view
my mind gets drawn back to you
i must be a m+s+ch+st
i’m caving in, i’m caving in

[verse 2]
do i actually regret it
knowing what i know now
how i could’ve been bettеr
had i been taught how
it really wasn’t your fault
you were just doing your bеst
i dragged you into depths
that were never part of our agreement

[chorus]
now you have love around you
while i’m still wrapped in solitude
envy to the third degree
is this reminiscing or jealousy

every time i look to my rear view
my mind gets drawn back to you
i must be a m+s+ch+st
i’m caving in, i’m caving in

[bridge]
can never despise you
no matter how hard i try
you’re essential to everything
that i’ve become, the reason why

i can sing and craft a symphony
with just my fingertips
for you truly saw me
when no one else did
how you raised your voice at conflict
when i knew i couldn’t win
how unfair it all was
even though you didn’t understand it

how i wish i had someone to stand up for me
the way you did
how i wish i had someone who’d just hold my hand
and listen

[outro]
despite all of the pain
we endured
you never left me behind
though you could
but we both know you still
wouldn’t choose me
so i’ve ceased all vulnerability

- kotoji lyrics

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