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kunt and the gang - michael eavis and his micro penis lyrics

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the man who founded glastonbury
has a beard but no moustache
and i found out something about him
that is pretty harsh
my mate had a piss next to him
and he said “you won’t believe us
when i describe to you
the private parts of michael eavis”

it’s just michael eavis and his micro-penis
it’s like a normal todger but one tenth of the size
it’s just michael eavis and his micro-penis
if you have a piss next to him you won’t believe your eyes

michael’s minute member
must be seen to be believed
his c-ck’s so small it’s quite a wonder
that his wife conceived
but she fashioned michael
a latex strap-on prosthesis
which he used, and it produced
his daughter emily eavis

it’s just michael eavis and his micro-penis
he can’t really help it, nature made him that way
it’s just michael eavis and his micro-penis
it’s less than two centimetres, much to his dismay

his knob’s inversely proportional
to the size of his festival
there’s quite a discrepancy
between his penis and testicles
when it’s viewed with naked eye
his c-ck’s hardly detectable
when he dies, gunther von hagens
will find it collectable

it’s just michael eavis and his micro-penis
michael eavis and his micro-penis
it’s just michael eavis and his micro-penis
michael eavis and his micro-penis

it’s tiny, it’s shiny
it’ll fit right up your hiney
it’s small, he’s tall
it gets dwarfed by his b-lls
it’s minute, it’s cute
it’s reasonably hirsute
it’s petite, it’s neat
in his pubes it does retreat

michael’s knob’s so small
it made a puddle when he weed with it
the year that he brought kanye west
most people disagreed with it
he shaved his pubic hair off
and he tried to weave a tweed from it
he nicked his helmet with the razor
and started to bleed from it

it’s just michael eavis and his micro-penis
he can’t really help it, jesus made him that way

- kunt and the gang lyrics

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