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kunt the gang - fucksticks lyrics

now, my old grandad had a word
he used when things went wrong
to introduce this word to you i put it in a song
so everytime this word gets used his memory lives on
i’m about to tell you what it is so you can sing along

“f-cksticks!”
when nan wouldn’t let him touch her furry pie
“f-cksticks!”
when he got some shrapnel lodged in his j-p’s eye
“f-cksticks!”
when a german sniper shot him in the c-ck
“f-cksticks!”
when he found a lump on his left b-ll-ck
“f-cksticks!”
when me nan died and she left him all alone
“f-cksticks!”
when he let a bogus caller in his home
“f-cksticks!”
when the first black people moved into his street
“f-cksticks!”
when arthritis meant he couldn’t beat his meat
“f-cksticks! mother’s c-nt, f-cksticks!”

so everytime i hear the word
i start to reminisce
i suddenly taste werthers and get a faint whiff of p-ss
so when someone annoys me or things get on my pip
i think about the moany, racist old c-nt and really let it rip…

“f-cksticks!”
when i miss an open goal in 5-a-side
“f-cksticks!”
when i lost my hard-on’s after nan had died
“f-cksticks!”
when the teacher’s told me that i was no good
“f-cksticks!”
when the old bill caught me w-nking in the wood
“f-cksticks!”
when i’m having it off and i think of my old man
“f-cksticks!”
when little kunt leaves skidmarks down the pan
“f-cksticks!”
when some other f-cker pushes in a queue
“f-cksticks!”
when you get caught short and really need a poo
“f-cksticks!”
when i came a-tumbling off my bmx
“f-cksticks!”
when i split my frenulum while having s-x
“f-cksticks!”
when some smart–ss gives me my comeuppence
“f-cksticks!”
when it’s ages since i’ve seen a lady’s tuppence
“f-cksticks!”
when there’s no clean pants so you have to wear your mum’s
“f-cksticks!”
when your bird won’t let you f-ck her up the b-m
“f-cksticks!”
when you feel all queer and you don’t know what to say
if you say “f-cksticks!” “f-cksticks!” “f-cksticks!”
it just makes everything ok
“f-cksticks! mother’s c-nt, f-cksticks!”

- kunt the gang lyrics

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