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kurtis ozra - suppressed lyrics

[verse 1: kurtis ozra]
i’m tired of these
late night calls from my momma
she downed another bottle
now it’s time for the drama
drinks a couple more
starts to relive the trauma
takes a gun
puts it to her head
tried to pull the trigger
but her souls already dead
but instead
she pops open another
forgets
what it is to be a mother
starts to speak that gibber
then slowly starts to stutter
i know she’s not alone
there are others
she gets in her zone
and
hates being alone
i was 6
no mom
to call my own
but i know
she ain’t there mentally
i would sit alone
try to be the best
that i can be
writing in my notepad
hoping one day to be an mc
put my feelings in a song
for the world go see
it ain’t always been easy
had to watch my mom
try to k!ll herself
was the hardest thing
i ever had to see
didn’t happen just one time
it was more like three
how you suppose to
take care of me
when you can’t even
take care of you
you got to get the
help you need
but you say
you ain’t got a problem
and i’m just crazy
nah, you just lazy
it’s okay to have a problem
it’s okay to say you’re not okay
it’s okay to say
i need help
i need change
i’m stronger than pain

[chorus: kurtis ozra]
i’m being chased by these memories
while i’m chasing after my own dreams
i try not to let it get to me
but the past always seems to find me
no, i won’t let it define me
i won’t let these feelings suppress me
no, i won’t let it define me
i won’t let these feelings suppress me

[verse 2: kurtis ozra]
these memories of my childhood haunt me
i’m having
nightmares everyday on how it used to be
i’m praying to god
like why she?
gotta have the illness
why can’t you set her free?
years of praying everyday
guess you didn’t hear me say
she needed you, that day
took a bunch of pills
and started to slip away
police and medics came
and they took her away
were all gonna die
but god don’t let her die today
prayers came in play
she was home in a few days
then went back to her old ways
drug after drug
she p-ssed out on christmas day
i was all alone
not understanding what was wrong
drugs took control
and her mind was all gone
finally had that talk
if you drink then i walk
i need my mom back
yeah i finally need my rock
open your eyes
so you can see
your worth more
than the shh that you drink
she learned
that it’s time to move on
be a better mom
and provide for her son
time to get help
‘cause she knew she was sick
she started listening
to all this music
this music saved her
gave her tougher skin
made her realize she’s only human
and these drugs
made her life an illusion
and these drugs
made her life an illusion

[outro: kurtis ozra]
i’m being chased by these memories
while i’m chasing after my own dreams
i try not to let it get to me
but the past always seems to find me
no, i won’t let it define me
i won’t let these feelings suppress me
no, i won’t let it define me
i won’t let these feelings suppress me

- kurtis ozra lyrics

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