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kyra horton - the things i never say lyrics

the things i never say lyrics
[kyra horton]
one, i’m afraid that he was right about me
that when he said he could never love me he was speaking for all men
when he said that i was too much and the weight of my existence could not be carried, i took on that belief too
i decided to set myself aside
decided i didn’t want her anymore
to tell the truth i’m still trying to pick her back up
he took pieces of me
some i will nevеr get back
some i don’t want back
i’m afraid i’ll nevеr stop feeling like every man will leave just like he did

two, i envy the flowers
despite the dirt and the rain, they bloom
i don’t know if i’m that strong
not sure if the weight of the ground is something i could lift out of
something i can break free from
their whole lives consist of existing in beauty and when they grow tired they let go
they let each petal fall to the ground and bloom again into something new
i don’t know if i’m that brave
i hide my sadness like sand tucked beneath the waves
i don’t allow myself to fall apart i

three, being a black woman is the scariest part of my existence
the patriarchy eating my soul alive
racism swallowing up the leftovers
knowing that my life is destined for tireless service with minimal thank you’s
afraid of marriage because i know
i will carry the weight of the home on my back
afraid to birth a child into a world that already hates them
four, it can crush you
the weight
some days this life is too heavy for me
the pressure of a million suns waiting for you to become who you said you’d be
who they’re expecting out of you
some days i’m not sure i can become her
i’m afraid i will disappoint everyone i know, including myself
those times i pray for a strength bigger than mine
i pick up my pen and i write….. all the things i never say out loud

- kyra horton lyrics

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