kevin bloody wilson – bali belly song lyrics
ten days in bali, got four days to go
ten days of terror, ‘coz i’m glued to the throne
and i’m sh-ttin’ in litres and firin’ both ends
i’ll never sh-t solid again.
and it’s cost me a fortune for this holiday
‘stead of p-ssin’ it up, christ i’m sh-ttin’ it away
‘coz i’m glued to the loo while me mates are out ragin’
i’ll never sh-t solid again
i’ll never sh-t solid again!
or hold anything down for as long as i live
‘coz me -rs- is jammed open from freckle fatigue
i’ll never sh-t solid again
i called mum back home, she said mix up a cup
of cornflour and gravox to thicken it up
then she p-ssed herself laughin’ and hung up the phone
i’ll never sh-t solid again
just had a cr-p and i’m wipin’ me ring
haven’t quite finished, start spewin’ again
used the same piece of paper to wipe off me chin
i’ll never sh-t solid again
i’ll never sh-t solid again!
so i’ll rig up a hosepipe to stick up me ring
so at least when i fart i won’t splatter me jeans
i’ll never sh-t solid again
i’m doin’ cartwheels as i’m tryin’ to guess
a cr-p or a chunder, christ what’s comin’ next
will it spray through me fingers or run down me leg?
i’ll never sh-t solid again
slipped on some sh-t a foot thick on the floor
skid -rs- over t-t, then i spewed a bit more
now, i gotta sit through it ‘coz me denture fell in
i’ll never sh-t solid again
i’ll never sh-t solid again!
me ring’s hangin’ out and me guts ‘ave caved in
i’ll be buried in a bucket, and me mates will all sing,
“he’ll never sh-t solid again”.
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