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larko - letter to myself lyrics

[intro]

yo, it’s larko
i’m opening up on this one
gonna take you deep inside my mind
darkest thoughts

[verse]

sometimes i think why am i here?
i’m asking myself every day of the year
outside everything’s getting better
but inside it’s like this pain doesn’t let up
couple month ago i met the girl of my dreams
but she don’t feel the same and it hurts me to see
feel lonely, n0body phones me
even the ones around seem phony
hold up
john, you’re thinking too deep
this dose of my medicine needs to increase
pa, pour the ciroc in my glass
out comes the vodka then so does my mask
like bugzy turns to devil
i turn to the larko cause he’s on the level
larko the guy who is known on the streets
but john is the one who n0body sees
i guess i need to accept it
now i got music’s everything’s hectic
it’s time for me to act clever
cause i know this dough ain’t gonna last me forever
did one video everybody got gassed
now the daily post just keep asking me back
that’s mad, life’s going fast
now i’m confused bout how i should act
guess i gotta stop being daft
like paying somebody to get a thief cracked
but yo, that’s what i needed to heal
cause n0body knows how he made me feel
they see it as a phone being robbed
but imagine being trapped in your body
and you wanna smack that man in his gob
but you can’t move so he’s acting c+cky
so i went home and then i got him spun
so my mum’s asking what the f+ck have you done?
i know you weren’t the one to throw the punch
you could still go prison for a couple of months
and i don’t wanna lose you love
stop being stupid you’ve proved your not dumb
i told her it had to be done
to show her that n0body f+cks with her son!
these pr+cks are taking the p+ss
cause these wheels a stuck to my hips
and if i could just have one little wish
i’d sit em in a chair an say live with this
anyway enough of that now
he got what was coming i’m done with that clown
it’s time to move on with my sound
and show everybody just what i’m about
music must be my calling
it’s all i got so i’m putting my all in
writing my thoughts at 3 in the morning
message my rapper i need this recording
cause i got a lot on my mind
and a lot of sh+t that’s not very nice
like visions of my mum stood crying
cause my dad hitting her multiple times!
felt worthless i couldn’t make it stop
all i could do was sit there and watch!
with my dad thinking he’s the boss
but if i could’ve moved then he’d have been dropped
a son should protect his mum
but i couldn’t fight i couldn’t even run
and now i feeling hate not love
so don’t wanna know him cause he’s just a c+nt
dad, if you’re hearing this take note
cause you ain’t a father to me you’re a joke
so i kicked you out of our home
you being gone’s the best we could’ve hoped
if i see you again better run
cause i’m never gonna forget what you’ve done
i will make sure that i get you jumped
and you’ll feel the pain that you gave to my mum
let’s forget larko for a minute
everybody’s saying that they want john back
so i’m gonna do it and grant there wishes
and bring the old john back from the past
no music and no bodyguards
no fake friends and n0body there!
no larko vans or cars
jusr me being stuck in this chair
i hate being known as disabled
when there’s so much that i can do
but that’s all that i ever get labeled
and that’s what i have to go through
that’s why i gotta wear this mask
cause it’s the only escape i have
since i got it everything’s been mad
everybody knows larko wen he pass
that names all around north wales yano!
get a little love, most hate me though
but i wonder how they’re gonna rate me yo
when my songs getting played on the radio
yeah, you all hate online
and diss me by actin sly
but why do you all get hyped
when my van be riding by?
and why the f+ck you act nice
when you’re looking me in the eyes
but when i’m nowhere in sight
it’s like i’m being despised
all i wanna do is write
and show you what’s on my mind
if that’s summat you don’t like
f+ck you at least i’m trying
sometimes ill go for a drive
late night looking at the lights
and wondering what it be like
if i was born with a different life
then i snap straight back to reality
still in a chair with a load of cash
thinking what to do with this salary
while i got notes dripping out of my hands!
a bodyguard in a suit that’s black drives me round in a high price ride
anybody would want this life i have till they see the prisoner inside
the guy who has to get fed
needs help getting himself outta bed
wants to play with his niece and nephew but he can’t move gotta watch instead

- larko lyrics

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