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laura bell bundy - love and war lyrics

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[ pilar ]
girl, we need to have a chat

[ serena ]
you cannot lose him to that

[ margot ]
both her hair and shoes are flat
get yourself back in the race now
smile to make him understand that
you are calm and in command so
meet her gaze and shake her hand
slap that smirk right off her face

[ elle (spoken) ]
what?!

[ delta nus ]
you’re the one who loves him more
all is fair in love and war
introduce her to the floor
all is fair in love and war
smack her ’til your arm is sore
all is fair in love and war

[ elle ]
girls, girls! violence is never wise
and anyway, she’s twice my size
and look into her cold dead eyes
careful she can smell your fear but
surely with some effort, i can
pry her fingers off my guy
first, why did he go near her, why?

[ vivienne (spoken) ]
maybe this will make things clear

(vivienne kisses warner.)

[ all ]
ew!

[ delta nus ]
how much more can you ignore
all is fair in love and war!
i can’t watch this anymore
all is fair in love and war!
don’t just stare
it’s love and war!
ninja-kick her through a door
get in there its love and war
pull her hair and call her wh0r-!
all is far in–

[ elle (spoken) ]
that’s just rude!

[ vivienne (spoken) ]
is it? well, then. we’ll take it back to my room

[ delta nus ]
ooh!
hey warner freeze
put on the brakes
hey warner, please
her pearls are fakes
hey warner, she’s a bag of snakes
look at her, are you drunk?
give up the chance
look over here
miss smarty-pants knows how to sneer
but can she dance?
yeah, can she shake her junk?
shake your junk
shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, woo!

[ elle (spoken) ]
wait, how is this helping? this isn’t helping! junk shaking’s not helping. girls, he’s not even here! he left while we were shaking booty. clearly, booty can’t solve everything

[ delta nus ]
yes it can, yes it can, take back your man!
yes it can, yes it can, take back your man!
we like this plan, take back your man

[ pilar ]
who’s man? who’s man?

[ delta nus ]
your man, your man!

[ elle (spoken) ]
then hut!

[ elle ]
now we’re done with shaking b-tt so
yeah, i’m talking to myself, so what!?
eyes on me and mouths are shut
’cause i am not defeated yet
yes i’m fabulous and hot and
everything that she is not and
that got me precisely squat!

[ elle (spoken) ]
what about her don’t i get?

[ serena ]
she’s a beast but she fits in

[ elle ]
right..

[ margot ]
maybe that’s the way to win

[ elle ]
right!

[ pilar ]
be her shadow

[ elle ]
be her twin!

( elle grabs her own hair. )

[ delta nus ]
oh no! no, you can’t!

[ elle ]
yes, i can! to the salon! i’m going brunette!

[ delta nus ]
no! don’t do something premature!

[ elle ]
i don’t care its love and war

[ serena ]
how about a different manicure?

[ elle ]
no, my hair, it’s love and war
this will prove i love him more

[ delta nus ]
some things aren’t worth fighting for

[ elle ]
all is fair in…

[ delta nus ]
are you sure?

[ elle ]
all is fair in…

[ delta nus ]
are you sure?

[ elle ]
all is fair in…

[ delta nus ]
are you sure?

(elle runs to the salon.)

[ elle (spoken) ]
make me a brunette!

[ delta nus ]
love and war!

- laura bell bundy lyrics

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