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lauren flans - which came first? lyrics

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[hook]
oh, which came first?
oh, which came first?
[chicken:] you know my rhymes are evil
[egg:] but my rhymes are worse
oh, which came first?

[verse 1: lauren flans as chicken]
well, i’m the chicken, i’m the hen, i’m the queen of the coop
and all you grandmas step back – i don’t go in your soup
i’m the b-tch, i’m the bird, i can motherf-ckin’ fly
you say the egg came first? that’s a godd-mn lie!

i’ve been around since day one and i was chillin’ alone
and if this player say different, he’ll be choking on my chicken bone
ruffle my feathers; you’ll end up in a he-rs-
cuz everybody on the planet knows the chicken came first

[verse 2: ryan harrison as egg]
well, you’re the chicken, i’m the egg; you’re the queen, i’m the king
step back, take a knee, i’m gonna tell you one thing
you say you been here all along, you been here from day one
let me ask you this, b-tch: “where you come from?”

from the egg! from the sh-ll! that’s the hard-boiled truth!
i’m like the hostess in the front: “can i take you to your booth?”
put your head on, b-tch – your logic is broke
show your daddy some respect, or you’ll be gulping my yolk

[hook]

[verse 3: lf]
where i come from? how i come to be?
well, where did you come from, son? you came from me!
well, how the f-ck you think you got here?! someone fl!ck on a switch?
you spent your first twelve days camping under this b-tch

so go to bed! clean your room! do what your momma say do!
cuz momma’s with her girls…
[girls:] “koo-koo-ku-chu!”
and we’re sill laughin’ bout the time when your sh-t popped out…
[girl:] “hey, girl – what’s that egg about?”

[verse 4: rh]
i’m glad you got your crew, cuz mine’s around
and they’d be shouting right now, but eggs don’t make a sound…
they’re like a spy at your door lifting up the latch
who’s got a hand in your drawers before you even say “hatch”

so get your man on the phone, call your daddy at work
call your lawyer, call your agent, call your jury, call your clerk
tell the whole d-mn courtroom, so everyone hears –
“before i even got home, y’know the egg was here!”

[hook]

[verse 5: lf]
egg, you’re clownin’ yourself; you hide behind your words
it’s obvious to me you wanna get with this bird
so proceed with caution, don’t let down your guard
’cause i can see from here i’m gettin’ your sh-ll hard

[verse 6: rh]
i don’t need you, girl! what you think you’re startin’?
there’s eleven other ladies lying in my carton
sure, your br–sts are juicy and your thighs are sick
but chickens ain’t sh-t but hoes and tricks…

[interlude]
besides, i really don’t know what i’d pick up from you –
i ain’t in the market for no asian bird flu

[lf]
well, it’s no skin off my wing, this bubble ain’t gonna burst
’cause i can tell just by looking that you’d come first
you think you’re hot to trot? you think you’re faberge?

[rh]
b-tch, i’m hotter than a sidewalk on a sunny day
i’m gonna burst; i’m gonna bust; i’m gonna blow my load

[lf]
i’m gonna beat your -ss! that’s why i crossed the road!

[rh]
you better watch yourself! i’ll take your legs and arms
i’ll wrap you up in plastic like you’re foster farms

[lf]
i’ll have you off a wall before you have the chance
you’ll be like humpty dumpty with no humpty dance

[rh]
i’ll bring all my horses, i’ll bring all men
and we’ll all take turns coming into your pen

[lf]
you wouldn’t stand a chance – i got a whole d-mn flock

[rh]
i don’t believe you, girl! it’s all ”bok bok bok!”
i’ll cut your head off, b-tch!

[lf]
i’ll make you egg drop soup!

[rh]
i’ll be the fox that finds you in your chicken coop!

[lf]
oh, whatever you do, son, i’m gonna do worse!

[both]
cuz everybody on the planet knows that i came first!

[hook]

- lauren flans lyrics

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