left at london - santa's homophobic lyrics
[spoken]
/@/: oh hey, look, it’s santa’s sleigh!
sonicfox: oh wow!
/@/: & he’s coming towards our house! i wonder what he’s gonna-
sonicfox: huh?
/@/: wait a sec… he just flew right past us… oh god, not this again. im gonna have a panic attack
sonicfox: what’s wrong?
/@/: whats wrong?! santa’s not gonna give me gifts again this year!
sonicfox: why?
/@/: i guess he just doesn’t like us g-ys
[sung]
dear santa, when i was younger
you’d send me gifts every year
but santa, since last december
i wanna make some things clear
i asked for
a new pair of doc’s
& a sword, & some poppers
but nothing is under the tree
so where the h-ll are my presents?
santa, help me out
i can’t do without
is this some sick kind of vengeance
you have out for me
just because i am lgbt
dear santa, what is the deal?
have you since found out i’m g-y?
my proof may be circ-mstantial
but it’s what i gotta say
i asked for
a nintendo switch
even though i’m a bottom
but no presents are to be found
so where the h-ll are my presents?
santa, help me out
i can’t do without
is this some sick kind of vengeance
you have out for me
just because i am lgbt
santa’s ho-ho-h0m-phobic (ah!)
santa’s ho-ho-h0m-phobic (you know it you know it)
santa’s ho-ho-h0m-phobic (& he’s probably transphobic too!)
santa claus hates the g-ys
[spoken]
santa: ho ho ho!
/@/: wait, santa?
santa: yes! it is i! the one & onl-
/@/: oh, shut the h-ll up you h0m-phobe!
santa: ho-ho-hold on just a sec! i’m not h0m-phobic. h0m-phobes go on the naughty list!
/@/: then why didn’t i get any gifts again this year?
santa: well, did you register your change of address?
/@/: wait, you’re supposed to do that?
santa: well, congratulations, you twit. everybody thinks i’m h0m-phobic now… you have to understand, this is some serious naughty-list type behavior
/@/: oh god… what have i done? i’ve cancelled santa…
santa: now if you’ll excuse me, i guess i have to take your gifts back to the north pole
/@/: wait a sec! don’t take back my gifts- hold on, is that frank ocean vinyl?
santa: yup! blond. first pressing
/@/: oh god…
santa: but it’s going back up on discogs
/@/: oh….
santa: happy holidays, left at london! ho ho ho!
/@/: wait wait wait no!
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