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lempamo - big four lyrics

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[verse 1]
spun out like a spool of thread falling down the steps
it’s the way that my mind has been pulled apart
my friends know my resilience has kept me here
but even that part of me can’t take much more

[chorus]
up on the big four, the waters tempt me
a simple step below and i’d be free
but a strong force inside is pulling me back

[post+chorus]
but right now i don’t know if that’s a blessing or a curse
all that i can hope is that things don’t get worse

[verse 2]
more abuse is the road ahead, wish that i could change
how many times that a mothеr may bruise my heart
a fear of dеath has merely left me unable to commit
but if i could, i’d say in the note that “this is your fault”

[chorus]
up on the big four, the waters tempt me
a simple step below and i’d be free
but a strong force inside is pulling me back
[post+chorus]
and right now i don’t know if that’s a blessing or a curse
all that i can hope is that things don’t get worse

[bridge]
but if i never heal, then what the h+ll is that worth?
for all i know, the future is filled with hurt and more hurt
why the f+ck should i bother with what i know i can’t endure?
it’s beyond my capacity, but do i know that for sure?

[chorus]
up on the big four, the waters tempt me
a simple step below and i’d be free
i climb over the railing and prepare to join the sea
a freedom from all the pain, none of it can bother me

[outro]
but at the last second, i get yanked back to the ground
no one else could’ve done it, i see as i look around
there’s nothing i can do, except wallow and cry
why can i not just let myself die?

- lempamo lyrics

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