leonard bernstein – pass the football lyrics
betty comden and adolph green
music by leonard bernstein
look at me now,
four years of college,
famous professors
tutoring me;
scholarship kid,
everything paid for,
food and vacations,
all of it free.
day that i left,
everyone gathered,
their cheering still rings in my ears . . .
ray wreck rah!
rah wreck ray!
rah wreck!
wreck rah!
rah wreck wreck!
w-e-c, r-e-k, r-e-q,
wreck, we love you!
cause i could p-ss that football
like nothin you have ever seen!
couldnt spell a lick,
couldnt do arithmetic;
one and one made three,
thought that dog was c-a-t,
but i could p-ss that football
like nothin you have ever seen.
couldnt write my name,
couldnt translate je vous aime,
never learned to read
mother goose or andr gide,
but i could p-ss that football
like nothin you have ever seen.
couldnt figure riddles,
puzzles made me pout:
where the h-ll was moses when the lights went out?
i couldnt even tell red from green,
get those verbs through my bean,
but i was buddies with the dean
like nothin you have ever seen.
p-ssed without a fuss
english lit and calculus.
never had to cram,
even p-ssed the bar exam,
because i p-ssed that football
like nothin you have ever seen.
couldnt dance for beans,
mashed my girls to smithereens.
sometimes blood was spilled,
still my card was always filled,
cause i could p-ss that football
like nothin you have ever seen.
then there was the week
albert einstein came to speak:
relativity!
guess who introduced him? me!
cause i could p-ss that football
like nothin you have ever seen.
had no table manners,
used ta dunk my roll,
always drunk the water from the fingerbowl.
though i would not get up for any she,
the prexys mom — age ninety-three —
got up and gave her seat to me,
like nothin you did ever see.
in our hall of fame,
theres a statue with my name.
there we stand, by heck,
lincoln, washington and wreck.
cause i could p-ss that football
like nothin you have ever seen!
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