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leviathan (tx) - deep down i'm really nobody lyrics

it feels as if i think of no one other than myself
letting the judgment of others reflect upon me
caring not for your minimal feelings
caring rather for this void i decay in
i have this empty cavity in my chest, filled with a nasty anomaly
they call it jealousy, i call him envy
blame others for excluding me in activities
but i push them far, far away, i’m sick
though, without this personality of mine, how could i persist?

i whine about my loneliness inside of my lyrics
yet i do nothing about it, choosing fear over wisdom
letting my desk become a mess, i ready myself for an earful
isolate myself from all that is meaningful
claiming the world to be against me, call myself a fiend
and then tear up when people then choose to avoid me
and in case i forgot to mention, my poetry is all so fake
spend time writing rhymes tailored to the tragedies
of me myself and i, and a few friends caught in the crossfire
i could’ve spent that time learning to be a better person

why can’t i collect myself anymore
humpty dumpty metaphor, cracked on the floor
no, i leave myself to ooze out, i’ve been broken since ever
is it wrong to want the warmth of yours again?
to yearn for more pure thoughts in my head?
i want to leave this figure of eight
i want to stop m+st+rbating
i stick to my downward spiral of a hole
wasting all my opportunities to be successful
oh, i wish i could be a jellyfish
glide through my life, like nothing really exist
oh, i wish i could persist
in metamorphosis into the friend that you deserve
deep down i’m really n0body
shadow of a kid who died at the age of five
deep down i really want to be somebody
but i’ve forgotten how to live
why must i trap myself inside a self+loathing cage?
i feel, oh, so selfish
i hit record, and sing
of my pointless problems

- leviathan tx lyrics

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