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lil chromozome – christmas cum lyrics

[intro: lil chromozome]
mr. smith: oh my f+cking god! i cannot believe it’s christmas yet again! you know what that means! more christmas songs! let’s get straight to it johnny!
johnny: alright mr. smith. but don’t yell at me this time, ok? i understand the material this time
mr. smith: oh i know. i’m gonna kiss you hard
johnny: wait what?

[chorus: lil chromozome]
jingle bells
my b+tthole smells
might have an std (oh no)
my doctor said that i was dead
but i murdered third degree +moan+
jingle bells
turtle sh+lls
mr. smith is g+y (really?)
i grabbed his throat
then he screamed like a goat
then i kicked him out my way (get the f+ck outta here)

[verse 1: lil chromozome]
i just grabbed his b+tt
but he doesn’t seem to care (i like it)
blow up an orphanage
no more childcare (where’d it go?)
when i go to sleep
i wanna wake up to some snow
if it is not there tonight
then i’m gonna f+cking blow (oh!)
[chorus: lil chromozome]
jingle bells
batman smells
robin has a v+g+n+ (why?)
i f+cked his holes with danimals
batman is crying in the corner
jingle bells
what rhymes with bells
sucking off the maid (excuse me?)
there’s a woman with a fat c+ck and she’s standing over me (no!)

[verse 2: lil chromozome]
my grandma gave me money
but she didn’t give me presents (are you kidding me?)
i started to k!ll her
but she told me she didn’t regret it (she dead)
i k!lled her with my eyes
i got that light skin stare on deck (i’m gorgeous)
i took that money that my grandma got me
and i just spent it all (my money)

[chorus: forgotthealamo]
got my d+ck, stuck in a coke bottle
now there’s paramedics at my door
but i’m too scared to let ‘em inside
cuz they asked what’s wrong and i flat out lied
i called 911 and i said i was dying
and also my baby was crushed by the tv and it caught on fire
and my diabetic grandma’s in a coma and +
oh god here comes the fire chief
[interlude: forgotthealamo]
fire chief: motherf+cker why are you always doing this on christmas? answer me!
bottlef+cker: okay listen dude i can explain + hold on + shut the f+ck + shut + shut the f+ck up

[verse 3: forgotthealamo]
so basically it’s christmas
i’m prancing through the halls
i step into some water
and then i slip and fall (yeah right)
and what’s that on the ground
but a bottle of coke upright (uh huh?)
i fall onto my back
and then my p+n+s slips inside…

[interlude: forgotthealamo]
fire chief: that’s the f+cking thing, every time you do this, every time you do this, there’s a new level of bullsh+t to it!
bottlef+cker: hey!
fire chief: no, no! if you fell onto your back it would have gone up your ass that’s not how it works! you are risking actual lives because you can’t keep your d+ck in your pants. you live by yourself! go to the hospital like a normal person what the f+ck?!?!?!
bottlef+cker: i was nervous okay?! i was so nervous! i didn’t think you guys would pick me up if i + if i didn’t have a good reason!
and i really wanted to take the ambulance because i like the flashing lights…
fire chief: and like, why a coke bottle of all things?
bottlef+cker: um… okay it was the polar bear, it was the polar bear (on the wrapper! what do you want from me?)

[outro: lil chromozome]
mr. smith: holy f+cking sh+t that was straight fire on the f+cking track!
johnny: wait, mr. smith
mr. smith: it’s not mr. smith. it’s santa hoe
johnny: alright, santa. shouldn’t it be, “that was straight icy on the track”, not fire?
mr. smith/santa: why the f+ck would it be that? did you hit your head or something?
johnny: well like 30 minutes ago you hit me pretty hard on the head with your fat c+ck
mr. smith/santa: ho ho ho ho! you’re right. i’m gonna do it again!
johnny: +painful groan+
mr. smith/santa: ho. ho. ho!

- lil chromozome lyrics

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