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lil darkie - ‌at first i couldn't, lyrics

[intro]
k!ll yo self you really don’t matter
k!ll yo self b-tch make the gl-ss shatter
k!ll yo self that’s mind over matter
k!ll yo self or i pull up and pull up and
k!ll yo self you really don’t matter
k!ll yo self b-tch make the gl-ss shatter
k!ll yo self that’s mind over matter
k!ll yo self or i pull up and splatter

[verse]
seventh grade i was right up at the chimney
i had it in me
i could have been free
i hit that jump and i flew with the birds
somebody evil must of heard my words
caught me and put me right down on the floor
i had to get up and try it some more
but every time i looked down at the cree
i felt the pastor begin to repeat
i cannot die, i cannot fly
stuck in the middle so what am i
i wanna fly with the b-tterflies
it’s hard to look at me cut your eyes
i am that guy i cannot die
am i on ___ i am a man
or so they tell me they wanna fail me
i’m in a panic i’m in a rush i’m feelin’ manic
_________ my mother
she doing good but not with my brother
i’m on the line he on the tap
his friend was tripping
trying to stab a knife in my mom
_____ had to come
what was you thinking is you a bum
he tryna blame me
why would you say this is cool
f-ggot you bought it from someone at school
mamma said i gotta ____ for my karma
she said you gotta control your anger ‘fore it harm ya
i don’t know what imma do
i gotta play it cool since i dropped outta school
my mamma stressing a lot and she be stressing the plot
like what you gon’ do when i’m gone
_____ on my skin and my bones
when i’m alone i don’t know that
i don’t know anything i just know rap
guess i know many things i’m with the rats
down in the sewers
i had some friends but now i have fewer
_______ what they sold us wasting our time
chasing our dreams not enough rhymes
can get on the radio which of us fail
who gon’ fall off and which of us bail
all of you rappers none of you artists
but now i smoke rappers so guess i’m a part of it
i guess i’m r-t-rded
i guess i’m stupid
i guess the only one loving is cupid
i am a rathe i am at level
i am the snake i am the devil
i am the dark i am the bully
i am not anything truly or fully
why am i here i hear i’m so high dear
i fear i might die hear lie here i might loss my life here
i was on tab at two watching _____ at the dorms
my ego shatter my will power warn
that’s when i knew i was k!lled and reborn
that’s when i knew i had taken my form
i’m lil darkie i cannot be k!lled
if you get me then my blood you will spill
but i will live on in the bodies of others
i will come back in the form of my brothers
i am _____ by everything else
if i was solo id shine like an angel
falling from glory to live in the manger
i am a mad god i am the danger
k!lling my n-gga my body
looking at me turn they vision to red
why do you hate me why do you hate me
you do not understand what’s in my head
i cannot understand what is in yours
i am infinity under my pours
i have an affinity for making enemies
after i’m enemies i’m making more
all of these people have broken my trust
they are the rain on my heart and it rusts
i let this b-tch grab a hold of my shoulder
and she still _________
i get my bust out with the nine
put it through that n-gga mind
leave it behind
i hope you k!ll yourself k!ll yourself
i hope that n0body spot you
yes i do yes i do mind
you get out my face n-gga you stink i cut a case
no time to think _____ myself
i own the brink
you wanna take away my love
she wanna be taken i’m mistaken
darkie breaking k!ll best friends
no resting no west end
no east side small tribe
no least sign release my fear
i see clear i want more i’m so near
i’m ______ ain’t no boy i don’t shake i stand straight
i was placed like a toy now i’m baked
feelin’ great off the shrooms
in my room
we some goons
bumping tunes
took that eighth i had mentioned
electrical tension
build up build up my head sp-ce
lay down on my bed case
scared of what i had faced
wanted to die

[outro]
ay uh lil darkie how are you doin? mr mushroom it’s nice to meet you your uhh teacher sent you here
because you wrote “i feel like tyler” on the bathroom wall uhhh why don’t you tell me about that well see
if you’re not gonna talk this is gonna be a really long talk

- lil darkie lyrics

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