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lil dicky - vmas lyrics

[intro]
i joke a lot, i know
the voice inside of me is 12 years old
yeah, i need guidance
i just turned 30 and i’m still freestyling
so this how yolo beats doubt
and hope breeds vows
i won’t be proud ’til i’m crowned
you holding me down, or you holding me down?
will i break out or will i break down?
i’m calling my shot, aww
this is my plot, aww
just let me be not wrong
everything is right in front of me
so i don’t see what’s right in front of me
i’m only seeing what it’s gonna be

[verse 1]
bring the sheep to the man, i do everything i can
got a million on the gram, follow me or you’ll be d+mned
north side, east side, jesus christ
way, way, way, way, way up in this b+tch
count the days, it’s almost here
talkin’ cray, but you convinced (wait)
heaven sent, i am nothing like the present men
wasn’t f+cking with the president
this world got way too sensitive
it’s so evident we let the devil in
i’m not a reverend, i’m irreverent
then stun ’em colder than the revenant
i put the effort in to be a better man, let ’em in
i be walking ’round the town, talking what i’m ’bout
walking all around, drawing all the crowds
garnering the clout, calling all ’em out
following devout, volleying the doubt
swallowing it down, hollowing ’em out
they know not what they do (wait)
they’re tryna box in a jew? (wait)
pt with the crack, had to come back
got a li’l bread tucked down
made a lotta more bread, now the gang getting fed
bring a lunch bag, all of my friends started poppin’ in advance
all the seeds turn to plants
full circle like a h+llcat
you can hear the chants, everybody had a chance
everybody tryna dance when i pull up with the jams
everybody going ham, young man got a plan
they don’t even understand
[verse 2]
i don’t eat fruit or vegetables
i eat the p+ssy and other stuff
i don’t eat fruit or vegetables
no fruits or vegetable, or vegetable
no fruits or vegetable
who the f+ck are you to tell me what i can or can’t do?
i would eat your mama’s p+ssy but i won’t eat no fruit
no fruits or vegetable
no fruits or vegetable
i am a professional of soaking grown up genitals
women look at me and know for sure they heteros+xual
they book me at the festivals, the crowds been going t+st+cl+s

[verse 3]
that’s a joke
that’s a joke
ha, ha, ha, they getting roast
ha ha ha (that’s a joke!)
that’s a joke (ha ha)
ha, ha, ha, what a joke (ha ha ha)

[verse 4]
ladies and gentlemen
i’d like to introduce you to a very special friend
the urologist dr. metalberg
who goes through my body to show you my disorder
i’ve had surgery as a baby
but i am not alone
everyone you see on stage has hypospadias
this is the penith
no, no, i’ll never stop rapping
everything i say i want happens
i’ma get it ’cause you know i gotta have it
i don’t need to run it up, i quarterback it
i’m a quarter+pocket type of motherf+cker
with the 8 ball going in the motherf+ckin’ hole, dawg
like a game time
got this lil d+cky getting scrutinized
i’ma big dog (woof!)
bark at a critic
i got real heart, just admit it
i can’t be stopped, who you kidding?
i know you thought i was different
i know
i be like, “no more overthinking”
i gotta hold on, ’cause i’m sinking
i can’t
woah

- lil dicky lyrics

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