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lilchamp88 - getting off my chest lyrics

[verse 1]
staring at my food but i can not eat it
laying in my bed but i am not sleeping
crying in my room and i keep it top secret
because people tell me they care but they do not mean it
i’m cut open, even though i am not bleeding
my heart’s broken, so i’mma make it stop beating
someone runs in the room and screams
“he’s not breathing!”
i’m rushed to the hospital to have a doc treat it
but he cannot beat it, there’s no time at all
cause i just popped some pills with some tylenol
and 3 bottles of antidеpressants, and sambuca
40 ounces, got k!lled i didn’t pukе up anything
there’s no use in pumping my stomach
cause i’ll just do it again
i’m a lost cause, so f+ck it
everyone with grudges towards me is gonna love this
the smiles on their faces when my death goes public

[hook]
cause i’m k!lling myself
taking matters to my own hands
i can’t picture myself as a grown man
i don’t wanna grow up
i hate change and everything’s just so rearranged
my life’s nothing but a disaster
and time keeps going by faster
but in a second all that sh+t won’t matter
f+ck this i’mma k!ll myself

[verse 2]
i act happy
but i wanna die, i’m not gonna lie
thoughts of suicide keep crossing my mind on a regular basis
going crazy, cause i’m going through bullsh+t on a regular basis
look me in the face, i’m sick in my eyes
cause i’m sick in the mind
i’ve been wishing to die ever since i was 9
this isn’t a lie
i don’t b+tch just to whine
or bullsh+t just to rhyme about it
i don’t cry just to spit
just to try to guilt trip
cause i could give two sh+ts about your pity
i ain’t trying to get everyone to feel bad for me
i’d rather dis everyone and make y’all mad at me
i ain’t a happy person and i ain’t that liked
not even by myself
i know i ain’t that nice
but people don’t understand how much i hate my life
cause if they did they’d know how bad
i want to take this knife and be
[hook]
k!lling myself
taking matters to my own hands
i can’t picture myself as a grown man
i don’t wanna grow up
i hate change and everything’s just so rearranged

my life’s nothing but a disaster
and time keeps going by faster
but in a second all that sh+t won’t matter
f+ck this i’mma k!ll myself

[verse 3]
i quit, i’m bailing, i’m done
i finally give up
i’m sick of failing, i’m done trying to live up
to the expectations everyone has set for me
and trying to explain sh+t to myself
always questioning about my destination
f+ck my destiny
no more relationships
my friends are all dead to me
my head is aching, and i don’t have any energy
i’m patiently waiting for the day that i can rest in peace
and this medication is the reason that i don’t get no sleep
it ain’t worth taking
so i just take some ecstasy
then hear my friends
“you’re an e+tard f+ck up.”
maybe k!lling myself will
make you r+t+rds shut up!
cause i only do it once in a while
at times when i forget how to f+cking smile
i hate being belittled when y’all act like you’re
looking out for me
if you were looking out of me then
i wouldn’t about to be
[hook]
k!lling myself
taking matters to my own hands
i can’t picture myself as a grown man
i don’t wanna grow up
i hate change and everything’s just so rearranged

my life is nothing but a disaster
and time keeps going by faster
but in a second all that sh+t won’t matter
f+ck this i’mma k!ll myself

- lilchamp88 lyrics

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