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lilithzplug - wanna get high? lyrics

[spoken word]
mel?
hey, you okay?
huh, i just came back from the showers
the bathrooms are pretty nice here, you should take one
i’ll help take your mind off some things, okay?
i don’t feel like it
well, i would try to get one in before everyone comes back
they’re on some, like, holiday break right now
the place is practically empty
besides, it’s not good to lay in bed all day, you know that
i’m surprised you don’t even wanna try to break out of this place
and go whеre, mel? home? what homе? family?
i’m adjusting just like you, you know that, we need to be here
especially after what happened
huh, if you say so
well, you could help me unpack
then, i don’t know, maybe go take a walk or something?
check out the scenery mill, you’ve been laying there since we got there
i shouldn’t have to force myself to get out of bed, and i shouldn’t want to get out of bed
and i don’t want to, so, stop pushing me
i+i’m not pushing you, i+i’m just trying to help
amara, ever since we were little you have always done this sh+t
done what? what are you talking about?
acting as if nothing ever happened
you tryna act like you’re all put+together and you’re not
where is this coming from?
wait, so, because i don’t want you rotting away in bed all day?
and you’re hating about things that’s just out of our control?
that means i’m acting like i’m all together? like, w+what are you even tryna say?
it’s not even just this
every time something dramatic happens to us you just act like it doesn’t affect you
like, what, to be a leader, a mother to us?
well, excuse me for trying to be the level+headed one
we all can’t just be sad and mopey and we just add to our depression, you know that
but, why, why do you assume responsibility being the level+headed one?
what makes you think me or claudia can’t do that for you?
what about you?
when are you going to put yourself first and allow yourself to feel what’s hurting you?
you know what? fine, you— you wanna go on this rant about me being emotionless and too level+headed?
look, i+i’m not tryna argue with you, it’s been a long day
just whenever you get the chance, get up and do something instead of laying in bed all day
amara, the reason why i’m reacting like this isn’t because you asked me to get out of bed or because i feel like you hold things in
i’m reacting like this because i’m worried about you
you asked me to take a shower, like, three times already
and not in a way of, “you stink, go shower”
but, mentally, you’re sp+cing out
you don’t even remember coming in my room earlier
saying the exact words, “verbatim”
no, that’s not true, because i+i just got off the shower
and when i couldn’t find claudia, i wanted to come and check on you
yeah, for the third time
we all got our problems, but you? your mask is cracking, bad
what did i just walk into? yall fightin’?
huh, at least it’s not me
where have you been? i was looking everywhere for you
she thinks she was looking everywhere for you
well, search no more, look what i got
claudia, no, is that what i think it is? if thinking drugs—
you guessed right sister, i raised you right
get real
how did you? where did you even get that from?
here comes the interrogation
look, i caught the little bit of my stash before we got here, okay?
are you trying to get us kicked out?
oh, my gosh, talk about a stick in your ass
your ass ever get tired from that stick being in there?
look, claudia, i’m just saying—
i’m the oldest, i’m saying
i’ve been letting you do a lot of saying for the past week
and honestly, i’m sick of you k!lling the little bit of joy that i’m trying to hold on to
you mean, temporary joy, right?
relax, sis, you need to chill out, literally
no one is here, it’s the weekend and the holiday
what else do you need to do so badly?
you’ve taken a shower, like, what, ten times?
i don’t even think that’s healthy, but
yeah, what? you wanna paint each others nails without any paint?
or, i+i don’t know, maybe go outside, look at the stars while it’s raining?
no cellphones or any signals for any kind of television right now
so, please, if you have anything better than f+ck to do, let me know
i’m all ears
or, you guys can enjoy this trip with me
so, what do you say, amara? wanna get high?
look, i’m down, but, i don’t know, claudia
last time i took a shroom my arm disappeared
and last time i took a shroom i threw up
that’s because both of you b+tches were tweakin’ out, this is different
different how? it’s a shroom
not any shroom, i hesitated to take this before
i wonder why
can you let me finish?
i hesitated because it’s supposed to like, erase our past traumas
but, it makes you feel really good
that doesn’t make any f+cking sense
i have to agree with her on that one
it’s a shroom, not a cure for ptsd
i know, i know, i know, i know it sounds crazy, but, i don’t know
i have, like, this gut feeling about it, like
it really might help us, but, i only wanted to take it with you guys
when the time was right, together
plus, you know, if it is bullsh+t, we’ll just have a really good hide either way
just something to make us feel good after what happened
anyways, are you in or not?
i’m in, i just really hope my arm doesn’t disappear this time
but, i can really feel something else other than what i’m feeling right now, so
your arm will not disappear this time, i promise
just don’t think too much about it
and last but not least, as always—
amara, are you gonna let us do this alone? or, you’re just going to—
i’m in
that was quick— does my ears deceive me?
yeah, yeah, yeah, how long is this supposed to last?
i don’t know, not too long
but i hold bunch of snacks in my room for when we wake, so, y’all ready?
why is it so small?
yeah, how are we supposed to get high off of this?
apparently, this is a super+strong shroom, so, uh, don’t underestimate it
here, a piece for you, and you, and me
this is no bigger than a penny
huh, stop complaining, get comfortable
come on, scoot in
okay, on three
one, two, three
so, how do you feel?
i just ate it
no kidding, might take a minute for this to kick in
you might wanna—
are you okay?
did it just get hot in here all of a sudden?
mm, yeah, i kinda feel that too
s+same here
ooh, i, uh, i feel it a little bit
how, how is that possible? we— we just ate it
it’s supposed to take a little minute before it kicks in, right?
huh, you talk too much, huh
are you high?
i+i don’t know about this, claudia
i’ve never taken something that kicks in like this
it’s— is this laced? or something?
sh+shush, are you f+cking crazy? are you trying to give us a bad trip?
jesus, it’s not laced
mel, mel? mel, mel?
she’s asleep, she was just up, wasn’t she?
why does my voice feel so echoey?
uh, i don’t know, i’m just gonna lay down for a little bit, okay?
no, claudia, don’t go to sleep, wake mel up
we, we don’t even know what this is, we, we
uh, i’m scared, i need to go throw this up
i need to throw up, oh, hold my hand
we need to go to sleep together
we have to do this together, okay?
i know

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