local news legend - gift of the magi 2 lyrics
h+llo there you stinky lizards!
i used to be a dead guy, now i’m a f+cking jedi
and i’ve got lots of news for you, and i’ve got a long list of things to do
i used to dwell in the present, i used to be so hesitant
but now i’ve got all my life to live, and i’ve got all my love to give
to all you f+ckers that i hate
it’s like the gift of the magi; more like the gift of the magi 2
you sold your soul to buy some tits and i sold my soul to grow a d+ck
we got to get him in the van, but what if he resists?
just kick him in the back of the f+cking head
and put him in the back of the f+cking van
it’s a miracle of science
this portrayal of violence, and it lives inside us all
it lives inside our hearts, just like a stupid f+cking tapeworm
who can we blame?
the husband divorced his wife after she cut her hair
because she was way less f+ckable and that’s just unforgivable
he moved into a condo, hung out by the pool
he never wore a bathing suit, he just wanted to scope out the talent
if god doesn’t like ugly, then god doesn’t like anybody
so f+ck god anyway, god is obsolete
oh, my god thinks my jokes are funny
there is no one to blame
yay
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