lockjawjockjenny - the list lyrics
[intro]
lot of people are pretty anxious wondering
“is my d+ck good? is it good enough?”
and we can just verify that it’s nothing on this checklist
[verse, +”hey!”s dispersed throughout+]
it can’t be too big, it can’t be too small
it can’t be too quick, it can’t be too slow
it can’t be too ugly, it can’t be too pretty
it can’t be too silly, it can’t have two entries
it can’t be too reedy, it can’t be a leek like
it’s literally the vegetable, like
what hatsune miku has, it can’t be the
d+ck that hatsune miku has where
it’s super big, (gasp) but it’s a robot
it can’t be too veiny, it can’t be too smooth
it can’t eat a quarter pounder the same way you do
that is a fact, i read it in a book
well i wrote the book, and you better look
it can’t be too whimsical, it can’t be a glow stick
because then you’d be tempted to
break the glow stick open and
drink all the juice and end up in the hospital
i had a bad childhood; good thing i’m tall!
it can’t be too droughty, it can’t be too barren
it can’t be too fertile, it can’t be too arid
it can’t be too hypercholesterolemic
nor supraphysiological
or if the vibes are too anemic or bulemical
[refrain]
“bulemical? did you mean polemical?”
no, google!
i will tie you up and your entire family
including your f+cked up cousin, bing
i am losing it! i can use
whatever words i want!
i’m getting a linguistics minor even, f+ck you!
[outro]
if your d+ck isn’t too much of anything
then it’s super cool+cool+cool
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