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logan whitehurst - happy noodle vs. sad noodle (1999) lyrics

happy noodle led the sort of life the working
stiff dreams about; driving a studebaker
making pies with his wife, taking a dip in
the old swimmin’ hole. yessir, happy noodle
had it good and he wasn’t complaining. he
always waved and smiled and tipped his hat
and said nice weather we’re having (regard+
less of the weather). now, as most protag+
onists do, he had an antagonist, a polar
opposite, bent on nullifying his happy ex+
istence. his name was sad noodle; a pathetic
excuse for an egg+and+flour mixture (with a
little extra water, just for tears). he
worked in a successful firm and was under a
lot of stress, and this is the story of their
ultimate battle

happy noodle versus sad noodle
happy noodle versus sad, sad noodle
happy noodle versus sad noodle
happy noodle versus sad, sad noodle

one day, as happy noodle was out mowing
the lawn, an edsel pulled up in front of the
house. it was sad noodle. he leaned his
ropy head out the window and said ++look
happy noodle: i’m sick of being your polar
opposite. you know, sad all the time and
what+not. it makes it hard to get along
i’ve come to challenge you to a duel to the
death.++ so happy noodle put down his mower
and obliged, saying ++if it’ll make you
happy!++ and sad noodle cringed. he hopped
into the back seat and they were off to the
gravel pit, happy noodle singing all the way
and sad noodle driving like a madman
++this’ll end it all!++ thought sad noodle
and they prepared for the fight. strange
sight: two noodles standing face to face
one smiling and one frowning
happy noodle versus sad noodle…

thinking on his feet, sad noodle used his head
as a whip and tried to trip happy noodle but he slipped
and he flipped face+first on the ground with a sound
like a wet noodle slapping the ground kind of sound
then happy noodle wrapped sad noodle up around a tree, said see
sad noodle, dont’cha mess with me ’cause i be the baddest noodle
there will ever be! because i’m++

happy noodle versus sad noodle…

so after happy noodle untied sad noodle, they
got back in the car. sad noodle, defeated
dejected, depressed, dropped happy noodle off
at his door and said ++you know what? i
don’t think that helped me very much.++ and
happy noodle said ++sad noodle, why don’t you
come in for some pie?++ and sad noodle said
++no, i’m sorry. i don’t like pie all that
much, but thanks all the same.++

happy noodle versus sad noodle…

- logan whitehurst lyrics

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